Free Line of Scrimmage by Marie Force

Susie,” he whispered. “I love you more than anything.”
    Pretending to be asleep, she struggled to keep her breathing steady as her heart pounded. He left as quietly as he had come.
     When she heard the shower go on in the master bedroom, she wept bitterly into her pillow.
    How long have I wished for him to give himself to me this way? Only now that he’s planning to give up football will I come first with him. It’s too little, too late. Choked by sobs, she was reminded of all the nights she had cried herself to sleep over the man who was once again occupying
     her every thought. I can’t put myself through this a second time. I’ve already been unfaithful to Henry by kissing Ryan like kissing was on its way out of style. Henry . . . you deserve so much better. I’ve disappointed you so many times in the past. I can’t let it happen again. I just can’t.
    Despair.
    Was there any other word to describe what she felt just then? From the very beginning with Ryan, she had been sucked into
     his orbit. She left college to marry him and moved to Denver when he signed with the Mavs. Her life revolved around him for
     so long that when their marriage ended, she discovered she had no idea who she was without him. She had spent the last year
     figuring that out and had been on her way to a whole new life when he’d come swooping back in, tipping her world upside down
     as only Ryan could.
    Her sobs dissolved into hiccups as warm, bitter tears continued to cascade down her face.
    “Susie?”
    She suppressed a groan. “Go to bed, Ryan.”
    He came in and perched carefully on the edge of the bed. “Are you crying?” Reaching out to caress her face, he said, “You
     are! Baby, what’s wrong?”
    The light coming from the hallway made it possible for her to see that he wore only boxers. His wet hair was combed back off
     his freshly shaven face. He was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen, and God help her, she still wanted him. “Nothing’s
     wrong,” she said. “Go to bed. Please.”
    “I can’t leave you here upset and alone.”
    “Why not? You’ve done it before.”
    He winced.
    She couldn’t see his eyes but could imagine the flash of anger and pain. Her own eyes flooded with new tears.
    “Susannah . . . You’re breaking my heart.”
    “You broke mine,” she said between sobs. “More than once.”
    “I’m sorry,” he said in a pleading tone. “You’re the last person in the world I ever meant to hurt. You have to know that.”
     He reached for her and pulled her up and into his arms. “I’ve made mistakes,” he said, brushing a hand over her hair. “I don’t
     deny that, but I want to make it right. You have to help me make it right.”
    “I don’t have to do anything,” she retorted. “The time for making it right was when I was begging you to engage in our marriage. You’re
     so used to getting everything you want that you have no idea how to deal with the word no, do you?”
    “I haven’t gotten everything I wanted,” he reminded her.
    She pulled back from him, incredulous. “Not getting to play for the Cowboys does not count.”
    “You never understood how I felt about that, so I don’t expect you to get it now.”
    She stared at him in disbelief. “You’ve had a career most men would sell their souls for, and yet you’re still nursing that
     old wound, aren’t you? You’ve been so blessed that you can’t see how stupid it is.”
    “I know I’ve been blessed, and I know now I was meant to play for the Mavs even if I grew up dreaming of a career with the
     Cowboys. I wouldn’t have three Super Bowl rings if the Cowboys had drafted me. I get that—now.”
    She had never heard him say that before, and the revelation was intriguing. He had changed. “Ryan, I didn’t mean—”
    He shook his head to stop her. “They said I was the best high school football player to come out of Texas in a decade, but
     I didn’t get to play for the team I grew up worshiping. I