Free Boarlander Cursed Bear (Boarlander Bears Book 5) by T. S. Joyce

he’d thought. Maybe the bond had been sitting in his shredded heart all these years, waiting to be strengthened by her healing touch again.
    My mate.
    Clinton pulled at the neck of his T-shirt to make it easier to breathe. She would need more time. He had to be a patient hunter if he was going to convince her to stay with a fuck-up like him. She’d fallen in love with the good Clinton all those years ago. She didn’t know him now. Would be disappointed in how far he’d fallen. In how weak he’d become. She would see him act out in an effort to keep his bear steady and would see the disappointment in the Boarlanders’ eyes. She would watch him spiral, because that’s what he did. And a woman like Shae wouldn’t put up with the shit he pulled. He had to figure out how to get better, fast. He had to show her he could be good again someday if only she would stay and push him in the right direction. If only she would stay and stitch his fucked-up, shattered heart back together one tattered piece at a time.
    She could banish Amber and all her poison from his mind if only Shae would stay here with him.
    He’d hated women for a while, and he hadn’t wanted them at the trailer parks where he’d lived. He’d bounced from crew to crew avoiding the couplings, and now, after a few days back in Shae’s presence, he wanted to draw up and face the world to keep her safe again. He wanted her close where he could protect her. Where he could adore her. Where he could see the smiles on her face and hope he’d caused them.
    “Can you meet my crew?” he asked, feeling like a jackass for what he was really asking. Shae still deserved better, but maybe someday, if he worked long enough, and hard enough, he could give her a happy life.
    “I met them yesterday,” she said in a happy tinkling voice. It was so strange comparing her to the girl she used to be. Shae had changed completely in some ways, but was utterly the same in others. It was fun peeling back her layers now.
    “I mean, I don’t want you to leave, so maybe could you meet with my alpha.”
    Shae pulled the pan of gravy from the burner and frowned over her shoulder at him. “For what?”
    Just say it you coward. “I don’t want you to go. I want you to meet with Harrison so I can ask him if you can stay in ten-ten.”
    “What’s ten-ten?”
    “An old singlewide trailer. It’s special, though. The mates have all stayed there. Bash swears it’s magic. Good luck and all that shit.”
    “The mates?”
    Oh, right. “The girlfriends and wives. They’re called mates.”
    “O-oh.” Shae blinked those big, gorgeous hazel eyes, then turned away from him, back to her work at the stove. He hadn’t missed it, though—the smile right before she’d hidden her face from him. “That would be okay. I can ask my boss for a few more days off.”
    “Okay.” But in a few days, he was going to ask her to stay a few more, and a few more after that, and then forever. For Shae, this would all be fast, but for him, he’d been hers since he was ten.
    “I should tell you something.”
    There was darkness in her voice and he wanted to kiss her, make her feel better. “Tell me anything.” I mean, goddamn, she absorbed your secrets and went straight to healing you. Shae could tell him she was a bucktoothed cannibal were-gopher, and it would only make him like her more.
    “I had an accident…”
    Oh shit, here it was, and now he felt like grit.
    “I was eighteen, and I got lost in the woods. Fell down some big ravine and hit my head. I was in a coma for a while, and when I woke up, I couldn’t remember anything from before. Nothing.” She cast him a quick glance over her shoulder, and that helpless expression drew him to her.
    Clinton approached her slowly, then slipped his arms around her waist from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder.
    “So, I had a really hard time after that. I didn’t remember my parents or any of my friends from before. I remembered how to