Free Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Book Series by Jeff Kinney

Vf'mpy
Kiel
    GREG WEFFLEY'S JOURNAL
    ty Jeff Kihhcy

    TO MOM, DAD, RE, SCOTT, AND PATRICK

SEPTEMBER
    Tuesday
    First of all, let me get Something straight-'
'TV»«S is a JOURNAL, not a diary. X know what it says on the cover, tut when horn went out to buy this thing X SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn’t Say "diary" on it.
    Great. AH X need is for Some jerk to catch me

    The other thing X want to clear u^> right away is that this was MOM’s idea, not mine.
    But
if
she thinks X’m going to write down my "feelings" in here or whatever, she’s crazy, just don’t expect me to be all "Pear Piary’ this and "Pear Piary” that.

    XHe ohly reason X agreed +o do +His a+ all is because X -figure la+er oh wHeh X*m ricH ahd famous, XU Have be++er +Hihgs +o do +H»a»n ahswer people's s+u^id questions all day long. So

    Like X said, XU be famous ohe day, but for how X'm S+uck ih middle ScHool wi+H a buhcH of morohs.

    Le+ me jost Say /or the record that X thihk middle school is the dombest idea ever invented. You e who haveht hit their growth sport yet- nixed in with these gorillas who need to shave -twice a day.

    And theh they wonder why bullying is soch a bi^ problem in middle school.
    X/ •+ was op +o me, ^rade levels woold be based on height-, ho+ a^e. Bot then a
    Today is 4* fi'rs+ Jay of school, ahd righ+ how were jus+ wai+ihg arouhd
for
+ke Teacher +o hurry u^> ahd fihish 4>e sea-hhg chart. So X figured X might as well write ih th    By the way, le+ me give you Some good advice. Oh the first day
of
school, you got to te real careful where you si+. You walk ih+o the classroom ahd jus+ fluhk your stuff dowh oh ahy old desk ahd the hext fnihg you khow the teacher is sayihg—
    I MOPE YOU ALL LIKE WHERE YOU'RE SITTING, BECAUSE THESE ARE YOUR PERMANENT SEATS.

    So ih this class, X go+ s+uck with Chris Hosey ih froht of me ahd Liohel James ih tack of me.

    Jason Brill came in late ahd almost sat to
ry ri^ht, but luckily I stored that from ha^enin^ at the Iasi second.

    Mext period, X should just sit in the middle of a bunch
of
hot ^irls as soon as X step in the room. But X ^uess
if
1 do that, it just proves X didn't learn an^thin^ from last ^ear.

    Man, X don’t know WHAT is up with girls these Jays. Xt used +o fee a whole lo+ simpler back in elementary school. "The deal was,
if you
were the fastest runner in
your
class,
you
got all the girls.
    And in -the •fifth grade, the -fastest runner was Connie McCoy.
    c? C>
19
°

    Nowadays, it’s a whole lot more complicated. Now it’s about the kind of clothes you wear or how rich you are or if you have a cute butt or whatever. And kids like Ronnie McCoy are scratching their heads wondering what the heck happened.
    Xhe most popular boy in my grade is Bryce Anderson. "The thing that really stinks is that X have ALWAYS been into girls, but kids like Bryce have only come around in the last couple of years.

    X remember how Bry< elemeh+ary school.
    ac+ back ii

    Bu+ of course how X doh’+ ge+
ahy
credii for s+ickihg wi+h +he girls all this +ime.
    Like X said, Bryce is +he mos+ popular kid ih our grade, so +ha+ leaves all -the res+
of
us guys scramblihg
for
+he o+her S^>o+S.
    Xhe bes+ X cah figure is +ha+ X’m somewhere arouhd 52hd or 53rd mos+ yofular -this year. Bu+ -the good hews is +ha+ X’m abou-t +o move u^> ohe S^>o+ because Charlie Pavies is above me, ahd he’s ge++ihg his braces he#+ week.

    X -try +o ex^laih oil
+K.S
po^ularrty sWf +o my friend Rowley (wKo is probably Kovering rigKt around +Ke 150 mark, by +Ke way), bu+ X +Kink i+ juS+ goes in one ear and ou+ +Ke o-tKer wrtK Kin.

    Wednesday
    Today we Kad PKys E-d, so did wKen X go+ ou+side was
    +Ke firs+ +King X sneak off +o +Ke
    baske+ball coori +o see if +Ke CKeese was s+ill
    +Kere. And Sure enougK, i+ was.

    That piece of Cheese h«s been sitting oh the