Free Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 2 by Various Authors Page A

staff."
    "This is different," Jules said. "I think about it all the time. I want you. What can I do? Since Nicole came, I never meet guys."
    Mark frowned. The blush deepened and he dropped Jules' injured hand as if it was burning him.
    "It was a good rule," Mark said, his voice trembling a little. "You shouldn't have broken it."
    "You don't want to?"
    "No."
    Jules tried to make light of it. "No big deal." He didn't want to be accused of harassing his staff.
    But it was a disappointment. He'd assumed that Mark would want him as much as he wanted Mark, maybe more. He'd thought he could start something with him any time he liked. Again he'd been proved wrong, and this time he had made a big mistake, because Mark, the calmest person he knew, was angry.
    Jules guessed this even as he turned out the lights and carried the sleeping baby up to the flat. He knew it for sure when he heard Mark crunch the gears as his car pulled away. He felt the loss when he was alone in bed that night and he regretted his action the next day when there was a palpable tension between them that wouldn't go away, even though Jules tried to make light of it, even though he swallowed his pride and apologized.
    It spoilt Christmas. Of course Mark spent Christmas Day with his family, but Jules had hoped for his company on some other day that they could call Christmas for Nicole. Now he didn't dare ask. He was alone with her for the whole of the restaurant's Christmas break, trying to interest her in toys that she wasn't ready for, pushing her through cold, empty streets to stop her crying, trying not to think about last Christmas with Claire or the Christmases of his childhood when his parents, too, were alive.
    He hoped that at least the break would give Mark a chance to get over his idea that Jules had harassed him, or whatever it was that was eating him, and they could re-establish their easy working relationship. When things were still awkward in January Jules was disappointed but he tried to be patient. He was sure that all he had to do was wait and things would return to normal. Nothing prepared him for the moment when Mark said that he had an interview for a job in London and asked Jules for a reference.
    Then the world stopped still for a moment, and not in a good way.
    Jules said, "I apologize again—"
    "It's not about that. It's just that I realized there's no future for me here."
    "I can pay you more," Jules said.
    "No you can't. The restaurant's doing alright but you have more expenses now and there isn't much to spare. Anyway, it's not about money, it's about my prospects. I don't see how my career can develop here."
    "If we opened a second restaurant?" Mark didn't answer so Jules added, "I thought of it before Claire died, another restaurant in one of the other towns around here. I planned to ask you if you wanted to invest some money and have a partnership."
    "It would be crazy to do that now," Mark said. "You don't have the time."
    "But maybe in a few years?"
    There was a heavy silence. Mark looked away, and Jules understood that he didn't want a partnership. He just didn't want to go on working with Jules.
    It was like being in an accident, Jules thought: you do some minor thing and bam , something terrible has happened. You try to see how to fix it but you can't. Something is broken. Everything has changed and there's no way back.
    The baby in the cot beside them gave a little wail.
    "Nicole needs you," Jules said. It was as close as he would come to begging.
    But Mark chose to misunderstand. "I'll make her bottle." He left the room and she began to cry in earnest.
    ****
    The selection process took so long that Jules was starting to breathe again, thinking Mark hadn't got the job, but one Friday at the beginning of February he came in with his letter of resignation. The new position was with a restaurant chain and involved a certain amount of travel. Jules had to admit that it sounded like a good move for Mark.
    They worked through Mark's