Free Kiss Me Like You Mean It by Dr. David Clarke

Without meaning to, you’ve performed a funectomy on your marriage. The fun is gone. It’s time to bring the fun back, and I can tell you how to do it.”

8
    Make Your Marriage a Romantic Comedy
    To create the right mood for this chapter, I will retell the ending of one of the world’s best-loved romantic comedies. Over the years, this film’s tender, funny, and magical message has touched the hearts of millions of lovers.
    The final scene opens with the camera showing two persons at the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean. The scenery is breathtaking. The sun is about to drop into the water at the horizon. The sky is painted with a kaleidoscope of stunning colors. The perfect romantic setting.
    The camera zooms in and we see that the two persons are none other than the hero and heroine of the movie. They are old now. Quite old. The man is in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his withered legs. His faithful wife stands behind him, her hands resting on the wheelchair handles. Their last dialogue begins:
    Wife: “Well, this is where it all ends after sixty-five years of marriage. I’ve been yearning for and dreading this moment for most of our married life.”
    Husband: “What do you mean, ends? I’m in pretty bad shape, but I’m not dead yet.”
    Wife: “You’re very close to death. Closer than you think.” Husband: “What? Do you know something I don’t? And what do you mean by ‘yearning for and dreading this moment’?”
    Wife: “I’ve yearned for years to tell you what I really think about you and our marriage. I dread the possibility of going to prison for the rest of my life.”
    Husband: “Prison? Why would you go to prison?”
    Wife: “Because, after I’ve said what I want to say, I’m going to push you over the edge of this cliff. I’ll keep the wheelchair and sell it for a few bucks. Now, be quiet and listen. When I married you, I dreamed of having a wonderful marriage. I wanted laughter, fun, and passion. I wanted excitement, spontaneity, and sensuality. What I got for most of those sixty-five years was a boring, ho-hum, and passionless marriage. You could say I’m a little bitter. So, this is goodbye.”
    As the camera pulls back, the old woman begins to rock her husband’s wheelchair back and forth at the edge of the cliff. His pleas for mercy mingle with her high-pitched, cackling laugh as the screen fades to black. We’re left to wonder if she actually dumped him over the edge.
    Well, I guess you’ve figured out no one’s ever made a romantic comedy with this story line. I don’t think it would sell too many tickets. However, it has been my experience that many married couples end up just like this one. Not at the edge of a cliff with murder in mind. But with a mediocre, blah marriage that never realized its potential for passion.
    If you want to avoid this metaphorical cliff in your marriage, you must learn how to inject frequent, liberal doses of fun and playfulness into your relationship. Who can teach you? Solomon and Shulamith.
    Let’s Play
    Solomon and Shulamith are two of the original daters. They love to go out together. And, boy, do they know how to have fun! And the fun they have stokes their passion.
    Shulamith (2:10) “My beloved responded and said to me, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along.”
    Solomon asks Shulamith to leave home and come with him on a date. Take note, husbands: calling your wife “darling” and “beautiful one” increases the chances she’ll want to go out with you.
    In 2:11–13, Solomon shares his excitement about being with Shulamith on their outing:
    For behold, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
The flowers have already appeared in the land;
The time has arrived for pruning the vines,
And the voice of the turtledove
has been heard in our land.
The fig tree has ripened its figs,
And the vines in blossom
have given forth their fragrance.
Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along!
    He compares their