Free Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore Page B

someone who can pilot it out to an island."
    "You need a boat, Kimi can get boat. Kimi can pilot too."
    "Thanks anyway, but I really…"
    Roberto shrieked. Tuck jumped back. Kimi said, "Roberto say he want to go on boat with you. How far is island?"
    Tucker couldn't believe he was having this conversation. He hadn't really decided he would go by boat. "It's called Alualu. It's about two hundred and fifty miles north of here."
    "No problem," Kimi said without hesitation. "My father was great navigator. He teach me everything. I take you to island and maybe we have party too. You have money?"
    Tuck nodded.
    "You wait over there in shade. We be right back." Kimi turned and wiggled away. Tucker tried not to watch him walk. He was feeling sick to his stomach. He walked to a grove of palm trees that grew along the harbor and sat down to wait.

    Kimi piloted the eighteen-foot fiberglass skiff out of a shantytown built over the water, across the harbor, to a dock in front of the marina restaurant. Roberto had unfolded his wings and was crawling spiderlike over Kimi's head and back, looking for a comfortable spot to get out of the light.
    Tucker walked to the dock and looked at the boat, then out past the harbor, where waves were crashing on the reef, then back at the little boat. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but he was sure this wasn't it. Something bigger, maybe a cabin cruiser, with twin diesels and a big wheelhouse with some radar stuff spinning on the top-a modest but well-stocked wet bar, perhaps.
    "I got you boat!" Kimi said. "You give me money now, I go get gas and look at map."
    Tucker didn't budge. The engine was a forty-horse Yamaha outboard. A rubber tube ran from the motor to a gas tank that took up nearly all the space between the two seats. Tuck guessed it would hold at least a hundred gallons of fuel, maybe more. "Are you sure this thing has the range to make it out there?"
    "No problem. Give me money for gas. Five hundred dollar."
    "You're insane!"
    "Gas very expensive here."
    "You're insane and your bat's glasses are crooked."
    "I have to pay man for boat. The rest is for pilot. You buy water, flashlight, and two mango, two papaya for Roberto, and two box Pop Tarts for Kimi. Strawberry."
    Tucker felt he was being hustled. "For five hundred dollars you can get your own mangoes and Pop Tarts."
    "Okay, bye-bye," Kimi said. "Say bye-bye to cheap sweaty American, Roberto." Kimi moved Roberto onto his shoulders and pulled the cord to start the engine.
    Tuck imagined himself stuck on Yap for another two weeks. "No, wait!" He unclipped the flap of his pack and dug inside.
    Kimi killed the outboard, turned, and grinned. There was lipstick on his teeth. "Money, please."
    Tuck handed down a stack of bills. He didn't like it, but he didn't have a choice. Actually, not having a choice made it a little easier. "Are we going to leave right away?"
    "We go through reef before dark so we no smash up and drown. After that it better to go in dark. Go by stars."
    Smash up? "Shouldn't we call for weather?"
    Kimi laughed. "You smell storm? See storm in sky?"
    Tuck looked around. Except for a few mushroom-shaped clouds beyond the reef, it was clear. He smelled only tropical flowers on the breeze and something skunky rising up from his armpits. "No."
    "Meet me here in half hour." Kimi started the motor and putted off across the harbor toward a big tank with the Mobil logo stenciled on the side.
    Tuck walked to the store and bought the supplies, then found the telecom center a few doors down and sent a handwritten fax to the doctor on Alualu to let him know that his new pilot was on the way.
    He was waiting at the dock when Kimi returned in the skiff, his wig tied down with a red chiffon scarf. Roberto wore a smaller scarf with holes cut for his ears. Strangely, the scarf, in conjunction with the sunglasses, made Roberto look a little like Diana Ross They say there is a finite number of faces in the world…
    Tucker threw the heavy