Free Dirty Drag by Kyle Adams

 
    “Motherfucker!” Ashley yelled as he stubbed his toe against whatever was carelessly discarded in the alley. It was too dark to see anything, even using his cell phone screen as a poor imitation flashlight. It was his third time walking through th is alley. He knew the door was here somewhere; he ’d spent hours researching on the internet for the perfect dive bar for tonight’s experiment. If only his research warned him to bring a searchlight to navigate through the musty alley. A nose plug wouldn’t have been a bad idea either, so he wouldn’t have to keep his nose pinched between his fingers to avoid th e putrid smells of rotting trash and stale piss. Classy .
    The small pub didn't have any signs , and the only entrance was an old steel door down a dark passage . C liché as it was , Ashley wasn’t too worried about being stabbed by an unknown assailant lurking in the shadows; he was armed with a can of pepper spray and could scream like a banshee . If he di dn’t find that damn door soon , he’d know every fucking pothole, rock, or piece of garbage cluttering the alleyway . Over ten minutes of searching and not a single person had come or gone from the bar. Ashley was going to find that fucking door, even if it took all night. He needed to go somewhere he wouldn't be recognized , and no one he knew would be caught dead in this shit hole . Fuck, after this he’d probably have to go home and burn his outfit for sanitary reasons before scrubbing his skin raw in a scorching shower.
    F inally f inding the door five minutes later , Ashley tried to pull it open , but it was heavier than he expect ed and didn't budge. He heaved as hard as he could the second time ; the door still didn’t fucking move . Ashley held the grimy door handle with both hands , and brac ed himself with his stylish, but affordable, stiletto heel against the wall . H e was going to rip this heavier - than - fuck door off its fucking hinges if he had to . It was too dark out to worry about anyone seeing how he looked with his mini skirt rising up, ass exposed and high heel flat against the building .
    Adjusting his grip on the handle, he was a second away from jerking back full force when he felt the door swing inward. Ashley fell forward with the door and stumbled from the surprise . H e almost fell into the short man that had opened the door. If not for the numerous experiences he had walking in heels while drunk off his ass, Ashley would have snapped one of those four-inch heels and fallen right into the little man. Ashley liked h is men bigger than his own five feet and eleven inches , or six feet, three inches with these heels on. He was glad he caught himself before the little guy could try and cop a feel. He was feeling a little foolish that he never thought to try and push the door open . W asn’t it required by fire code for doors to open outward? Probably also code to have a well lit and clear entrance/exit path , but obviously this place was too fancy to bother with customer safety or city regulations.
    “Watch it , Amazonian,” T iny snapped , as he brushed by Ashley , pushing him so the door bump ed into his ass . What a jerk , Ashley thought. After all, the little ogre was the one who jerked the door open in the first place.
    “Well excuse me , Mr. McShorty T iny-D ick, I must have overlooked that you were there . I’m sure you’re used to it.”
    “Stupid bitch,” Tiny said , as he disappeared into the alley.
    Not one to let someone walk away with the last word , Ashley shouted , “What’s wrong, you scared of a real woman?” The irony of his statement wasn’t missed , and he hoped his voice didn’t give away that he , in fact , was not a real woman; just a man in a skirt. Ashley thought he’d be lucky to make it through tonight without getting his ass kicked , but he never did know when to bite his tongue. And if anyone started shit , he wasn’t about to just bend over and take it ; he’d throw shit right back