own
release.
Ash gave
a long sigh and collapsed on top of me, his face buried in the
pillow. My chest heaved against Ash as we panted to regain our
breath. It was a few minutes before Ash pushed himself up onto his
elbows. He looked down at me and smiled.
"I guess
you're not so asexual after all." He laughed. I tried to frown, to
think of something to say, but nothing came. My mind was blank,
still awash with the afterglow. A feeling of relaxation spread
through my entire body, turning my limbs to jelly. "I'll go get a
towel," he said, bringing my attention to the stickiness that
joined us together.
It was
then the realisation started to sink in. I had had sex with Ash, my
best friend and room-mate. Not full intercourse though. Thank God.
However, I definitely needed to rethink my self-proclaimed
asexuality. Or was it too far-fetched to blame it on the
alcohol?
Ash was
stood in the doorway, wiping himself down with a blue towel. "God,
you look so hot like that," he said, walking towards the bed. He
climbed over me, dropping the towel on my chest. A quick look down
as I wiped away the evidence of our drunken adventure told me he
was ready to go again. The sight of it was enough to hitch my
breath and my lower regions responded to him.
"Wanna go
again?" he whispered in my ear.
"Fuck
you," I said, pushing him off to one side. There, I was sobering up
already.
"That
could be arranged." I didn't need to see his face to know he was
smirking behind me. He spooned against my back, trapping his hard
length between us. One arm draped across my chest. Somehow, I
hadn't pictured Ash as the type to cuddle after sex. But I couldn't
have imagined I would end up having sex with him either, so my
judgements could hardly be trusted. And then there were the other
thoughts plaguing my mind. What did this mean for me, and for
us?
"Don't
think about it too hard," Ash said. "Just take it for what it is
and don't try to complicate things."
I asked,
"How do you do that?" It was as if he knew what I was thinking,
though that was beyond the limits of his ability.
"What?
Read your mind?" He laughed. "I can't, but I've known you for a
year now, so I can take a pretty good guess. Plus, you're
broadcasting your emotions clearly tonight."
I hadn't
even thought about keeping up my psychic shields. Shit!
"Don't
bother. Alcohol messes with your shielding," he said. I wish I had
known that before drinking myself stupid. "You're confused and
scared. Why?"
"Because... I don't know what this means."
"It was
just sex. It doesn't have to mean anything. Nothing has to change
because we had a bit of fun."
I thought
about it for a minute. Could sex be nothing more than a bit of fun?
I had never thought of it as anything other than pointless
intimacy, designed to create attachments and ultimately end with
pain. I couldn't deny that it felt good. Scratch that, it felt
amazing. Maybe it was as Ash had said, and I should accept it for
what it was, a bit of drunken fun.
Ash's
fingers danced lightly over my skin, his warm breath caressing the
back of my neck. I sighed, and his arm wrapped around me tighter,
pulling me deeper into the embrace. His lips pressed against my
cheek and I could feel his smile widen.
"What are
you afraid of?" he asked. "You could have this and so much more if
you let yourself." When I didn't answer, he said, "Okay, let me
tell you a story then. Once upon a time, there was a boy named Ash.
He fell in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, Lisa
Albridge. But Ash wasn't like the other boys and girls. He had a
secret."
"Why are
you telling me this?"
His hand
reached up, and he pressed a single finger to my lips. "Just
listen. For a while he didn't tell Lisa, but he hated keeping it
from her and lying to her. So one day, he told her. Lisa was scared
and angry. She ran all the way home and refused to speak to him.
Ash was so upset that he locked himself in his room and wouldn't
come out. Then later that day, Lisa called and