the night.”
That makes her smile. “Good. I thought you meant mad.”
I giggle. “Nope, he wasn’t mad at all.”
She hugs me. “I’m so excited for you! Digs is the perfect match. Just wait, you’ll see.” I laugh. She’s funny but doesn’t give me the scary chill down my back. We eat and talk about the Little Sisters, then she has to get back to work. We’re meeting at Nancy’s at three-thirty for some shopping, then she’ll pick me up at eight. I’m so excited and get all my shirts done before it’s time to shop.
At Nancy’s, CJ and Amanda meet up with us and we have a blast trying everything that Nancy put aside for us on. I take a dress and two skirts, but she bags all the things I tried on up. “Digs said to send them all home with you.” Oh dear. I want to tell her no, but he isn’t here to tell him I don’t need all this. I can’t buy stuff like the others. Even with Digs paying half of everything I don’t make enough to buy like them.
She’s smiling and looks at the door when the bell chimes. Rich is here for Tess. Bob and Digs are behind him. I look down when Digs stands in front of me. “Babe?”
I look up but then look at his shoulder. “Hi.”
He bends and kisses me, then takes the bag from Nancy and my hand. I tell everyone I’ll see them later. They’re all smiling and I feel the blush making my face hot. I follow him to the truck and climb in. He doesn’t shut the door, so I look at him. “You need to ask me something?” He steps closer and puts my head on his shoulder.
I take a breath and let it out slow, giving myself a pep talk. Just tell him. “I don’t buy clothes like the others. I can’t,” I whisper.
“Hmmm, well, it’s a good thing you didn’t buy this stuff then. When I want to buy you things that’s what I’m going to do. I watched you try every one of those outfits on and I want to see them on you in person. Since I never shopped for a woman this worked out well. Are we done now?”
I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I’m smiling, so it must be a good thing. Lenny always bought my clothes without me. At least these are nice clothes. “Yes, thank you.” He kisses my head and closes the door.
At home I hang all my new clothes up and I’m still smiling. I get the dress I’m wearing out and look for shoes to go with it. There’s a box on the floor and I wonder how I missed it. I sit and open it, then laugh. This is what Amanda gets, a box of panties and bras for the ones that Bob rips. I stop laughing, thinking about that. He plans on ripping my panties. Jiminy! This is a lot of panties to rip, I think as I’m pulling them out. Under them are bras and five corsets. I know he doesn’t care about the scars and wonder why he wants to cover them. Maybe he really doesn’t like seeing them. I shake my head. That’s not it.
“I thought you would like them, you’re worried about what you look like. Maybe this will take that away for you. I have to tell you, babe, I can’t fuckin wait to see that on you.” He’s standing above me, smiling, and I burst into tears. “Jesus!” He lifts me up and carries me to the bed.
He’s perfect and I’m crying like a baby. Fiddlesticks! “I’m sorry. You have been perfect and I’m an idiot.” He kisses my head and just holds me.
* * *
Digs
Fuck! I don’t know what to say, so I hold her until she calms. She’s been an idiot? Maybe she doesn’t feel the same. I thought she wanted me as much as I want her. I jumped all in without giving her a chance to get used to this. I fuckin knew it was too fast for her. I’ve been following the list, but I’ve pushed everything on her.
For the first time today she kissed me, I thought we were getting somewhere. Everything is going through my head at once and I can’t think of anything but making sure she stays mine. “Babe, this was too much too fast. I get that. We can slow it down until you’re ready to handle more.” She doesn’t
Learning to Kill: Stories