last part with a wink.
“You want this?” I ask, surprised. Honestly, it’s not something I really want.
“I want all that is you. So, yes, I want this,” he says and I’m pretty sure that if I was holding anything back, he now has it all.
“I love you, Stefanos.”
“I know, Princess. I love you too.”
S tefanos and I have spent the last two days in our new home. I couldn’t sleep one night so I went outside and sat on the beach, just off our back porch. My mind won’t shut down. I’m worried. I don’t want to bring a child into my world. My life isn’t right for a child, especially if that child is mine. Stefanos tries to reassure me that everything will work out and that we’ll figure it out together, but I have little faith.
Stefanos must have woken up because I wasn’t in bed. He found me gazing up at the stars while trying to figure things out. He has so much hope, and I have none.
Today I have a doctor’s appointment to see how far along I am. Stefanos wants to tell my family and I won’t allow it. It still hasn’t sunk into my head yet, so why make my father freak when I don’t know what my plans are.
On our way there, Stefanos hasn’t stopped smiling and I wonder if he’s taken drugs ‘cause that can be the only reason I can think of as to why he won’t stop smiling.
“Are you on drugs?” I ask, because he needs to tell me if he is.
He pulls a face and shakes his head no.
“Well, why the hell are you smiling like a mad man?”
“Because, Princess, I have you, and soon we will have a piece of us.”
Simple, but still idiotically crazy.
I don’t reply because I may say something I will regret, which will only have him trying to convince me everything will work out. As we pull up at the doctor’s office, I’m a bag of nerves. Stefanos comes around and opens the door for me and I reluctantly follow him inside.
Once we are all checked in, I’m barely seated when my name is called. I don’t hear it, but Stefanos does and snaps me out of my thoughts. He grabs hold of my hand and pulls me up to follow him. Our doctor is in his late forty’s and he seems nice enough. Until he tells me about the vaginal examination, which is required to confirm how far along I am. I decide running sounds like a great idea, but Stefanos agrees and keeps his hand firmly planted on my thigh so I can’t run.
Once my legs are bent and a condom is placed on the probe, I start to close my legs so he can’t stick that thing anywhere near me. He tells me to relax and asks me to open a bit further. I contemplate running again, but I can’t do that, I have no pants on.
We wait for what seems like ages, until we start to hear a sound coming from the machine that is now connected to my vagina.
“You’re roughly eight weeks,” he says and then removes the probe from inside me.
I look to Stefanos and his smile has reached his eyes, but I consider smacking it off him.
“Did you hear that, Princess,” he says, referring to the baby’s heartbeat. I did and it was beautiful, though that won’t change my opinion.
“You don’t want this, do you?” he asks, after the doctor leaves so I can get changed.
I shake my head no.
“You know we can work it out. We can make anything work.”
I look him in the eyes, but I don’t say a word. He sees my answer in my eyes and leaves it alone for the time being.
Once we arrive home, Stefanos gets a call to meet up with one of our distributors. He comes inside first and sits next to me on the couch. He picks me up and places me on his lap.
“You will be my wife one day very soon. I will make this work, Princess. You will see.”
“It will only work if you stay at home, Stefanos. I don’t want a child now. I have too much to look after as it is. My world isn’t right for a child.”
He looks hurt my confession, but I don’t see myself as a stay at home mom. If he wants this as badly as I think he does, he will do as I say.
“I have to go, Princess,