Free Forever With You (Silver State Series) by Renae Kelleigh

sandwich when Harumi walks in, her ever-present headphones perched atop her cap of glossy black hair.  She’s singing softly with her music as she swings her book bag up onto her bed and kicks off her shoes.  When she lowers the headphones around her neck, I can hear the faint, tinny melody of a song through the small speakers.
    “What are you up to this afternoon?” she asks as she strolls over to sit across from me on Beatrix’s empty bed.
    “Just finishing homework,” I reply.
    Harumi nods, holding my gaze with her penetrating stare.  Sometimes when she looks at me I’m afraid she’s able to divine every secret I’ve ever kept.  She takes a deep breath and settles back against the multitude of throw pillows on Beatrix’s bed.  “Do you have many friends here from your high school?” she asks.
    I shrug.  “A few acquaintances I guess.  All my close friends went to other schools.  Why?”
    “You just seem sort of…lonely.”  I’m grateful her tone isn’t judgmental – she’s just being observant.
    I sigh.  “I worked a year before coming here.  Since everyone else left for college while I stayed at home, I was pretty much a loner for the past twelve months.  I guess I just haven’t gotten back in the swing of making new friends.”
    Harumi nods.  “You’re not alone there.”  She sits up then and leans forward, bracing her elbows against her knees.  “What about that guy Kyle?”
    I look at her, assessing the situation.  I’m not obligated to tell her anything, but a part of me wants to.  It’s sort of like being in therapy again.
    I push my math book out of my lap and shove it aside with my half eaten sandwich.  I draw my knees up close to my chest and take in a cleansing breath before responding.  “Kyle was the first boy I ever liked – sixth grade.  I liked him all the way through high school, but he never paid much attention to me.  I was so infatuated with him – I lived for those moments when he would notice me, like when he told me he liked my drawing best in art class, or at graduation when he asked if he could have his picture taken with me.  I know I must sound so pathetic, but that’s the way it was with me.  We weren’t in contact at all last year when he was here, but then he came into the pizza place where I worked this summer.  He found out I was starting here this fall and asked for my phone number so we could ‘hang out.’”
    I finish telling her about the night of Jared Mink’s party, including what Kyle said to me before going inside that night.  Then I tell her about bumping into him again at the mixer and going over to his house last weekend.  When I’m done talking I wait quietly for Harumi to speak.  She seems introspective, as if she’s mentally framing the right words to say.
    “So, you like him,” she says, working it through in her mind as her words come out measured and deliberate.  “And I’d almost be willing to bet he likes you, too—“
    She stops when she sees me shaking my head.  “No, I don’t think so,” I tell her.  “Kyle is – well, he’s never really had a girlfriend.  I’m pretty sure he’s had lots of…experience with women, but he doesn’t settle down.  I think all he’s looking for is a good time.”
    “Okay…” says Harumi thoughtfully as she processes this latest bit of information.  “You mean like sex?”
    She says it so casually.  I nod.
    “So why don’t you just have sex with him?” she asks, as if this solution should have been apparent all along.
    I open my mouth to speak, but she continues before any words come out.  “I mean, so maybe you don’t get the works with him – the cards, the flowers, the commitment.  And maybe that stuff is important to you.  But let’s face it – you’re in college, and you’re still really young.  Who says you need to be looking for long term relationship material?  Maybe you could concentrate on just having fun, too.  You said