fingers dug into Liam’s hair and gripped, forcing Liam’s gaze back up.
Steady. Keep your breathing even, calm. He couldn’t let Alec know how wrong it felt for someone to force him to face him, like a challenge. Alec might stop touching him and that would be worse.
“Ten years ago,” Liam admitted to those dark, deep eyes that were trying to fathom him. “I don’t like it.”
Alec kneeled on the bed, one leg between Liam’s two, the other beside, and Liam relaxed slightly now that Alec no longer insisted on standing above him.
“How old are you?” Alec was hugging him then, trying to comfort, kissing shoulder and neck.
Liam sighed. “I’m twenty-four, but it’s not, it wasn’t trauma. It’s not that.” No way could he explain the pack dynamics back then. He’d wanted it; he just hadn’t liked it. There was a difference.
Pulling back, Alec rubbed a thumb across Liam’s mouth. Liam was not used to this initiative. He’d been called a dom before but he hadn’t taken it seriously. He was alpha . But Alec didn’t know that, and couldn’t know that. The quad was full of asshole alphas— thankfully het and not likely interested in Alec sexually—but they would have totally overpowered Alec, as they did all their victims.
“No force?” Alec asked, bringing Liam back to his past.
He hadn’t been strong enough, that was all. He’d accepted it with good grace. But Alec wouldn’t understand.
“No,” he fudged, then realized Alec didn’t really believe him. At the distress in that kind face, Liam found he couldn’t hold back much longer. He wanted Alec under him, except Alec wanted his turn as alpha.
Liam waited but Alec didn’t move. Rather, he said, “I could stare into your golden eyes forever, especially when you look at me like that.”
“Huh?”
Alec brushed blunt fingers against Liam’s cheek. Was he trying to drive Liam crazy? A tremor went through his body and Alec frowned. “Hey, it’s okay.”
Liam gritted his teeth. He wanted to devour Alec. He wanted to gain Alec’s trust. If Alec wanted his cock up Liam’s ass…
“Liam?” Fingers sifted through Liam’s hair.
“I can take it.” Liam tried not to sound like he was grinding out the words.
“What?” Alec frowned, then comprehension dawned and he looked appalled. “Liam, no . Not with how you feel about it.”
Liam clasped his hands together so he didn’t grab Alec.
“I don’t think I understand what’s going on here,” Alec said in a low voice. “I want to throw you down and fuck you.”
They stared. Alec’s eyes darkened. “How can I resist?”
Then Alec launched himself at Liam. No anger this time, to Liam’s great relief. He rolled with the attack, rolled right off the bed to land flat on his back, Alec coming down with him.
The breath left Liam for a moment while Alec reared up above him, stricken. “Liam. Sorry, babe.”
Liam pushed to sitting.
“I didn’t mean—”
Liam grabbed Alec’s face and kissed him, bruising lips. Alec stiffened for a moment before kissing back. He went to wind arms around Liam’s neck and Liam grabbed the arms, pinning them against Alec’s sides. Though Alec struggled, he didn’t give up the kiss, giving as good as he got. Rising, Liam brought Alec with him, then broke the kiss to throw Alec back on the bed. He had no intention of bruising Alec, well, except with his teeth. Leaving a mark, a love mark, not a death mark, as if one could supersede the other.
Alec was already scrambling to rise when Liam landed on him.
“You shit,” said Alec and bit Liam’s neck. Liam jerked, smothering the impulse to bite Alec back, hard. Because Alec had been bitten the wrong way and because Alec needed to make some statement while Liam overpowered him.
Alec sucked at the bite he’d just given, then licked.
“Take it easy, okay, Liam?” Alec murmured. He wasn’t frightened, not yet, but Liam had to keep hold of himself this close to the full moon. After today he would need to stay away from