Free Alien in the Family by Gini Koch

pieces of metal to Chuckie, who held the little black box near it. It still glowed red.
    Martini grimaced and looked thoughtful for a few long moments. “Kitty, you need to fix your hair.”
    “I do?” Everyone gave me “duh” looks, even Chuckie. I pondered. “Oh. Right you are.” I pulled out my hairspray and handed it to Martini. He sprayed the combined metal all over, then held it out to Chuckie again. The black box glowed a weaker red.
    Martini continued spraying and Chuckie continued testing until the red glow dissipated. Once gone, Martini went into the bedroom, came back with a bath towel, and wrapped the metal up inside it.
    Martini put the towel-wrapped package down on the table, then he, Chuckie, and Christopher sat down. I could tell Martini was furious, but he was controlling it well.
    “You sure it’s . . . clear?” Chuckie asked.
    Martini nodded. “It’s neutralized. I’d guess if we wash the hairspray off, it’ll spring right back into action, but I don’t think it can function right now.”
    “Makes sense,” Chuckie said.
    It did? “So, what’s that black box thing, what was the metal thing inside that freaky fake pineapple, and what did you do?”
    “This is an alien-detector,” Chuckie answered. “Oh, and duh.”
    “Yeah, fine. I didn’t know we had those.”
    “Well, ‘we’ don’t,” Martini snapped. “Apparently, however, the C.I.A. does.”
    Chuckie rolled his eyes. “As this incident has just proved, there are aliens we don’t know about.”
    “That metal stuff is alive?” I’d been wearing a living thing? I felt freaked out.
    Martini took my hand. “No, it’s not alive.”
    “Just sentient,” Chuckie added. “You didn’t mention that when you gave it to her, of course.”
    “Because I didn’t know,” Martini snarled.
    “Boys? Enough of the caveman stuff. What’s going on?”
    Christopher answered. “The necklace responded to the bug. It’s not called a bug, but that’s how it works.”
    “Wow, the words all make sense individually, and yet, when put together, not so much.”
    “ACE can explain for Kitty.”
    “Thanks, ACE, I’d appreciate it.”
    Gower nodded and spoke in the ACE-voice again. “Like with ACE, the A-Cs on home world can put talents into . . .” Gower twitched and I figured he was having to help ACE with the right words. “Into inanimate objects. Useful for many things.”
    “Like spying.”
    “Yes. A-Cs are most advanced of all species in their solar system.”
    “So, they used these things to spy on the other planets?” No wonder they’d been able to stop the warlike planets in their solar system from doing anything—they’d nipped them in the bud before they could be a problem. Logical and tidy, which were A-C traits. Vicious and nasty, which were also A-C traits, just not traits the Earth A-Cs had. Thank God.
    “Yes. Have sent this here to spy on Kitty.”
    Something about that didn’t make sense to me. “Um . . . how?”
    “What do you mean, how?” Christopher asked. “Through a gate or something.”
    “So, this metal stuff can move on its own?”
    “No,” Martini said. “It can’t move at all. It doesn’t think, either, despite our Supreme Leader’s comments to the contrary.”
    “It just transmits information, like a good bug,” Chuckie said, and I could hear the knife in his voice.
    “Guys? If it can’t move via its own steam, then how the hell did it get into this room?”
    There was dead silence. Aliens and humans trained to work with aliens think time.
    ACE answered. “Someone must have put it in here. ACE does not understand why Kitty did not know that.”
    “The hero worship is particularly nauseating during intimate moments,” Reader tossed out. “If I get one more ‘would Kitty do that?’ question—”
    “He’s kidding, ACE,” I said quickly. Not that I thought he was, but I didn’t want ACE to get its feelings hurt. “And, sometimes it helps to ask a question aloud, even if you