Free Lessons in Rule-Breaking by Christy McKellen Page A

grin, but he frowned, clearly unimpressed with her response.
    ‘How can you not know how gorgeous you are?’ he murmured.
    The penetrating look he gave her made something awaken low in her pelvis.
    Oooh.
    ‘You need to let out the joy.’ He didn’t shift his gaze from her face, keeping her attention locked to him.
    She laughed in lust-addled bewilderment. ‘The joy?’
    ‘You know. The place where a genuine smile comes from.’
    She looked at him blankly. ‘How do I find such a place?’
    ‘Okay, think about the last time you felt happy and follow the feeling.’
    She gave him a sceptical look.
    ‘Humour me,’ he said.
    Sighing, she wiped her sweaty palms on the sides of her jeans. She didn’t want him to see how nervous she was about being the centre of attention like this. Her pulse ticked loudly in her ears.
    Sensing she was likely to lose this particular battle, and interested to see if the experiment worked, she sighed and shut her eyes, doing as he said, trying to capture the feeling of delight she’d experienced when Pamela had offered her the job on the magazine. She tried to pinpoint where the feeling emanated from, locating it somewhere deep in her chest where it pulsed low and hot.
    ‘Okay,’ Xander said. ‘Now look right at me and let your eyes tell me how you’re feeling.’
    She took a second to centre herself, then did as he said, staring into his striking green-blue eyes and trying to communicate how she felt through the power of her expression.
    ‘Not bad, but you need to stop worrying about what I’m thinking of you and let me see you.’
    Heat crept up her neck. ‘I have no idea how to do that.’
    He was looking at her so intently she thought she might pass out. Getting up from his chair, he knelt in front of her. ‘What are you hiding from?’ he murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, leaving her skin supersensitised and tingling where he’d touched her.
    She finally plucked up the courage to look at him and their gazes locked.
    Heart pummelling her chest, Jess willed herself not to look away this time. He was close to her, so close she could smell the fresh, citrusy smell of him, mingling with the heat of his body.
    He was looking at her differently, she was sure of it. Not that she could put her finger on exactly what made her think that. It was a feeling. An unsettling, exciting, monstrous feeling she was afraid to acknowledge.
    The feeling seemed to peak, swiftly followed by an overwhelming tiredness and she tried to—unsuccessfully—stifle a yawn.
    Xander laughed quietly. ‘Okay, I can see you’re exhausted so I’m going to release you from the torture.’ He sat back on his haunches.
    Jess let out a loud sigh of relief. ‘Thank God for that,’ she murmured.
    He frowned at her. ‘You really don’t enjoy being sketched, do you?’
    She looked back at him, battling with the mixture of shame and defiance that coursed through her. ‘I hate it.’
    ‘Why?’
    Sighing, she looked off towards the vast sparkling expanse of the lake, giving herself a moment to gather her wits. She wanted to tell him, so he’d know she wasn’t just being freaky. ‘My mum was a model in the seventies and she had this crazy idea that I would be one, too. Unfortunately, she ended up with a chubby, odd-looking child who hated being thrust into the limelight.’ She laughed, hoping to sound flippant and unaffected, but instead managing to sound false and strained.
    ‘It didn’t stop her from dressing me up like a doll from the age of four and making me parade around in those awful beauty pageants you see on shockumentaries sometimes, though,’ she ploughed on, unwilling to let Xander see how shaky she was about telling him this. ‘I absolutely hated them, but she made me do it until I was old enough to categorically refuse. I always came last in those things and the constant look of disappointment on her face would make me physically ill.’ She snorted, but still couldn’t bring