Free MA07 MYTH Inc Link by Robert Asprin

is.”
    “Well, just holler if I can be of any help.”
    “Thanks, but what we really need is someone who can put us in touch with Mr. Hoos. I don’t suppose you’d happen to know where I could find him?”
    “Oh, that’s easy.”
    “It is?”
    I think we said it simultaneously. It was that kind of a surprise.
    “Sure. Just stand up, blink three times, and he’ll be right here.”
    That sounded a bit balmy to me, and for the first time I started doubting the old boy’s sanity. Little sister, however, seemed to take him seriously. She was on her feet in the blink of an eye, blinking furiously.
    “Well?” she said, peering around.
    “Pleased to meet you, Missy. My name’s Hoos. What’s yours?”
    We gaped at him ... it seemed to be the logical thing to do at the time.
    “You!?” Tananda managed at last. “Why didn’t you say something before?”
    “Didn’t know until now it was me you were looking for.”
    It was really none of my business, but I had to ask.
    “Just out of curiosity, why was it necessary for little sister to blink three times?”
    As I spoke, I realized I had forgotten to use my Big Crunch speech patterns. Hoos didn’t seem to notice.
    “Wasn’t, really. It’s just you’ve been working so hard to find me; I thought I should throw in a little something to keep the meeting from being too anticlimactic. So, what can I do for you?”
    There was a gleam of mischievousness in the old boy’s eye that led me to believe he wasn’t as daft as he would like people to believe. Tananda missed it, though, as she fumbled a battered sheet of paper out of her tunic.
    “Mr. Hoos,” she said briskly, “I’m here representing a client who claims you owe him money on this old account. I was wondering when he could expect payment, or if you would like to set up a schedule for regular submissions?”
    Hoos took the paper from her and studied it casually.
    “Well, I’ll be ... I could have sworn I wrote him a check on this the next day.”
    “He did say something about a check being returned,” Tananda conceded.
    “Must of held onto it until I closed out. Darn! I thought I had covered everything.”
    “You closed out the account with the bank?”
    Hoos winked at her.
    “No, I closed out the bank. That was back when I was consolidating my holdings.”
    “Oh. Well,” as I was saying, “if you’d like to set up a payment schedule...”
    He waved a hand at her and opened the top of his vending cart.
    From my height advantage, I could see that the bottom of it was filled with gold coins.
    “Why don’t we just settle up now?” he said. “I’ve got a little cold cash with me ... get it? Cold cash? Let’s see, you’ll be wanting some interest on that ...”
    “MR. HOOS!”
    We turned to find the bank manager striding rapidly toward us.
    “I thought we agreed that you’d handle all your transactions through the bank! Carrying cash is an open invitation to the criminal element, remember?”
    “What kind of a shakedown is going on here?” Weasel demanded, emerging from the door behind us. “This sure doesn’t look like a friendly chat to me!”
    A crowd was starting to form around us as people on the street drifted over and shopkeepers emerged from their stores. None of them looked particularly happy ... or friendly.
    “I know you want to handle this yourself, little sister,” I murmured. “Would you mind if I at least showed my fangs to back some of this rabble off a ways? I want to get out of here alive, too.”
    “NOW JUST HOLD ON, EVERYBODY! ”
    Hoos was standing on the seat of his vending cart holding up restraining hands to the mob.
    “This little lady has a legitimate bill she’s collecting for. That’s all. Now just ease off and go back to whatever you were doing. Can’t a man do a little business in private anymore?”
    That seemed to placate most of the onlookers, and they began to disperse slowly. Weasel and the bank manager didn’t budge.
    “Let me see that bill,”