Free Drunk With Blood by Steve Wells

God killed the entire Israelite army—slowly—over a period of 38 years.
    It’s not a very impressive killing, though, as God’s killings go. He mostly just waited for them all to die of natural causes. Prostate cancer, heart attack, stroke.
    But God claims to have killed them all himself, so I guess we should give him credit. How many old soldiers do you think died because “the hand of the Lord was against them?”
    Well, they started off with 603,550 soldiers.
    All those that were numbered of the children of Israel … from twenty years old and upward, all that were able to go forth to war in Israel … were six hundred thousand and three thousand and five hundred and fifty. Numbers 1.45-46
    And the only people that the Bible mentions dying along the way are those that God killed, which total a bit over 50,000. But I suppose some people must have died of natural causes over the 38 year period. So I’ll just say that God killed 500,000 soldiers.

28. God the giant killer
    Deuteronomy 2.20-23
    Estimated Number Killed: 5,000
    Giants
    After God kills off the old soldiers in his early retirement program ( 27 ) and before the new, youthful army begins to kill again for him, he brags a bit about some of his past killings. He is especially proud of knocking off an entire race of giants, the Zamzummim.
    That also was accounted a land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time; and the Ammonites call them Zamzummims; A people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; but the LORD destroyed them before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead. Deuteronomy 2.20-21
    There were a few other groups that God also killed that I don’t think I’ve accounted for yet: the Horim, Avim, and the Caphtorim.
    As he did to the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, when he destroyed the Horims from before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead even unto this day: And the Avims which dwelt in Hazerim, even unto Azzah, the Caphtorims, which came forth out of Caphtor, destroyed them, and dwelt in their stead. 2.22-23
    The Bible doesn’t say how many were in these groups. So I’ll just guess 5,000 for the lot of them.

29. God hardens King Sihon’s heart so that all his people can be killed
    Deuteronomy 2.33-36
    Estimated Number Killed: 5,000
    King Sihon and his cities
    After God killed off all the old soldiers ( 27 ) and at least most of the giants ( 28 ), it was time to get what was left of the Israelite army moving again.
    Rise ye up, take your journey, and pass over the river Arnon: behold, I have given into thine hand Sihon the Amorite, king of Heshbon, and his land: begin to possess it, and contend with him in battle. Deuteronomy 2.24
    God tells them to terrorize the current occupants of the land they are about to steal. The entire world will fear, tremble, and anguish at the very thought of them.
    This day will I begin to put the dread of thee and the fear of thee upon the nations that are under the whole heaven, who shall hear report of thee, and shall tremble, and be in anguish because of thee. 2.25
    The Israelites begin by lying about their true intentions. They send messengers to King Sihon asking to pass through his land, promising to pay for food and water along the way.
    I sent messengers … unto Sihon king of Heshbon with words of peace, saying, Let me pass through thy land: I will go along by the high way, I will neither turn unto the right hand nor to the left. Thou shalt sell me meat for money, that I may eat; and give me water for money, that I may drink: only I will pass through on my feet. 2.26-28
    But then God runs into a bit of a problem. What if King Sihon agrees to let the Israelites pass through his land? Then the Israelites wouldn’t get to kill all of his people. So God has a brilliant idea: he’ll harden King Sihon’s heart so that he won’t let them pass. [It worked so well with the Pharaoh ( 9 ) that God thought he’d try it again here.]
    But Sihon king of Heshbon would not