Free An Inconvenient Mistress by Caroline Kimberly

a...preference for the young lady, the men will leave her be. They’ll gape and gawk, of course, but they’d never dare challenge the captain’s claim.”
    “To even suggest such a thing—” Phillip had to bite his tongue to corral his temper.
    “I never thought of you as a prude, Phillip,” Sully said. “You wouldn’t need to actually indulge in an
affaire
, of course. Just the appearance of one would do. A tarnished reputation is a minor thing compared to her personal safety.”
    “You want me to pretend an affection for that...that virago?” Phillip asked, both amused and horrified. “I can’t think of a more uncomfortable, unpleasant, inconvenient woman to consider as mistress. She’s as cuddly as a shark.”
    The doctor’s silence was answer enough. Phillip shook his head. “In any case, you seem to have missed the obvious, doctor. She can barely tolerate sharing the same air as me—a sentiment I happen to share. How can I convince the crew I’ve taken an interest in her if I can’t even manage a full conversation with her?”
    Sullivan’s eyes sparkled. “I’ve seen enough to believe you’d be convincing.”
    Phillip opened his mouth to argue then reconsidered. Instead, he sank down on the stool with a heavy sigh. He hated to admit it, but he had just stormed into the infirmary like a jealous husband. Bored sailors could be more of rumor mill than a gaggle of Society matrons. Tongues were likely already wagging.
    Thanks to his intemperate entrance, it wouldn’t take much to convince the crew that he had a personal interest in the young widow. And the good doctor was right about one thing: if the lads thought he and Mrs. Marshall were involved, they’d never dare harass her. In truth, that would put his mind at ease. They were good men, every one of them, but they were men after all. And considering how they’d flocked to her like a gaggle of starving geese...
    The image of Mrs. Marshall tending to a shirtless Brownie flashed across his mind, and the immediate stab of irritation was enough to steel his resolve.
    “Fine,” Phillip said, more to himself than to Sully. “Mrs. Marshall may assist you, so long as it’s nothing improper. No bare chests. No blood and guts. Etcetera.”
    Sullivan grinned. “Of course, Captain. Would you like to inform her of our arrangement? Or shall I?”
    “I’ll see to it.” Phillip rose to his feet. “I hold you responsible for her well-being during the day.”
    Sully nodded. “Aye, Captain.”
    Phillip turned on a heel and bolted before the doctor could gloat. Sully loved nothing better than to revel in his own triumph whenever he got his way. Instead Phillip focused on how he was supposed to pretend he had an affection for a woman who drove him mad. The last thing he wanted was to spend his nights with the little stick—especially since she occupied his thoughts too much already.
    Phillip stopped short. This might actually be the perfect solution to his problem. He’d learned long ago that the surest way to lose interest in a woman was to spend time with her platonically. Even those who initially aroused his interest lost their appeal after a certain amount of familiarity. No doubt the same would hold true for the prickly Mrs. Marshall.
    Phillip didn’t rush toward Mrs. Marshall’s cabin. Instead, he ambled slowly, considering the question of how to best manage the situation. He needed some excuse to spend time with her behind closed doors. More important, it had to be something that would keep them busy enough that they needn’t talk overly much. Talking would be a problem.
Her
talking, to be specific.
    An idea blossomed as he strolled down the narrow corridor to her cabin. It fit all the criteria necessary to pull off this ruse, and it would prove to him that she was no more interesting than any of the other women who’d ever piqued his interest. He congratulated himself on his own brilliance and tried to ignore the glaring flaw in his plan. The