Free MA04 Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin

closed my eyes and released the spell. Mind you, unlike the disguise spell, I don’t have to close my eyes to remove a levitation spell. I just didn’t want to see the results.
    The room shook as two loud crashes echoed each other. I distinctly heard the bed assume a foolproof disguise as kindling. I carefully opened an eye.
    One bodyguard was unconscious. The other rolled about, groaning weakly.
    “They’re down,” I said, needlessly.
    Shai-ster ignored me.
    “Big bad bodyguards! Wait’ll the Big Boys hear how good dumb muscle is against magic!”
    He paused to kick the groaner in the side.
    “Groan quieter! Mister Skeeve and I have some talking to do.”
    Having already completed one adventure after antagonizing the military arm of a large organization, I was not overly eager to add another entire group of plug-uglies to my growing list of enemies.
    “Nothing personal,” I called to the bodyguard who was still conscious. “Here! Have a drink.”
    I levitated the flask over to him, and he caught it with a weak moan I chose to interpret as ‘thanks.’
    “You said something about a deal?” Shai-ster said, turning to me again.
    “Right. Now, if my appraisal of the situation is correct, the Mob wants three things: Big Julie’s army back, me dead or working for them, and a crack at the new money coming into Possiltum after the wedding.”
    The Mob spokesman cocked his head to one side.
    “That a bit more blunt than I would have put it, but you appear to have captured the essential spirit of my clients’ wishes. My compliments on your concise summation.”
    “Here’s another concise summation to go with it. Hands off Big Julie and his crew; he’s under my protection. By the same token, Possiltum is my territory. Stay away from it or it will cost you more than you’ll get. As to my services, I have no wish to become a Mob employee. I would consider an occasional assignment as an outside contractor for a specific fee, but full-time employment is out.”
    The Mob spokesman was back in his element, face stony and impassive.
    “That doesn’t sound like much of a deal.”
    “It doesn’t?”
    I reviewed the terms quickly in my mind.
    “Oh! Excuse me. There is one other important part of my offer I neglected to mention. I don’t expect your employers to give up their objectives without any return at all. What I have in mind is a swap: an army and maybe a kingdom for an opportunity to exploit an entire world.”
    Shai-ster raised his eyebrows.
    “You’re going to give us the world? Just like that? Lord Magician, I suspect you’re not bargaining with a full deck.”
    “I didn’t say I would give you the world, I said I would give you access to a world. Brand new territory full of businesses and people to exploit; one of the richest in the universe.”
    The spokesman frowned.
    “Another world? And I’m supposed to take your word as to how rich it is and that you can give us access?”
    “It would be nice, but even in my most naive moments I wouldn’t expect you to accept a blind bid like that. No, I’m ready to give you a brief tour of the proposed world so that you can judge for yourself.”
    “Wait a minute,” Shai-ster said, holding up his hands. “This is so far beyond my negotiating parameters that even if I liked what I saw, I couldn’t approve the deal. I need to bring one of the Big Boys in on this decision.”
    This was better than I had hoped. By the time he could bring one of the Mob’s hierarchy to Possiltum, I could deal with some of my other problems.
    “Fine. Go and fetch him. I’ll hold the deal until your return.”
    The spokesman gave one of his tight-lipped smiles.
    “No need to wait,” he said. “My immediate superior is on call specifically for emergencies such as this.”
    Before I could frame a reply, he opened the front of his belt buckle and began rubbing it, all the while mumbling under his breath.
    There was a quick flash of light, and an old, hairy-jowled man