Free MA04 Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin Page B

that if I were successful in my negotiations, it wouldn’t be wise to be known at the Bazaar as the one who introduced organized crime to the dimension.
    Unfortunately, this had dawned on me just as we were preparing to make our departure, so I hadn’t had much time to choose someone to disguise myself as. Any of my friends were out, as were Massha, Quigley, Garkin ... in desperation I settled on Rupert ... I mean, there was one being I owed a bad turn or two. Consequently, I was currently parading around the Bazaar as a scaly green Pervert ... excuse me, Pervect.
    “I have my reasons,” I dodged loftily.
    “Well, so has Don Bruce,” Shai-ster scowled. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got a few questions about this place. If we try to move in here, won’t language be a problem? I can’t understand anything these freaks are saying.”
    “Take a look,” I instructed, pointing.
    Don Bruce and the Deveel proprietor were haggling earnestly, obviously having no difficulty understanding each other, however much they disagreed.
    “No Deveel worth his salt is going to let a little thing like language stand in the way of a sale.”
    “Hey, everybody! Look what I got!”
    We turned to find Don Bruce bearing down on us, proudly waving a small rod the same color as his clothes.
    “It’s a magic wand!” he exclaimed. “I got it for a song.”
    “A song plus some gold, I’d wager,” Shai-ster observed dryly. “What does it do?”
    “What does it do?” Don Bruce grinned. “Watch this.”
    He swept the wand across the air with a grand gesture, and a cloud of shiny dust sparkled to the ground.
    “That’s it?” Shai-ster grimaced.
    Don Bruce frowned at the wand.
    “That’s funny. When the guy back there did it, he got a rainbow.”
    He pointed the wand at the ground and shook it ... and three blades materialized out of thin air, lancing into the dust at our feet.
    “Careful!” Shai-ster warned, hopping back out of range. “You’d better read the instructions on that thing.”
    “I don’t need instructions,” Don Bruce insisted. “I’m a fairy godfather. I know what I’m doing.”
    As he spoke, he gestured emphatically with the wand, and a jet of flame narrowly missed one of the bodyguards.
    .. But this can wait,” Don Bruce concluded, tucking the wand into his waistband. “We’ve got business to discuss.”
    “Yes. We were just ...”Shai-ster began.
    “Shuddup! I’m talking to Skeeve here.”
    The force behind Don Bruce’s sudden admonishment, combined with the Shai-ster’s quick obedience, made me hastily revise my opinion of the Mob leader. Strange or not, he was a force to be recognized.
    “Now then, Mister Skeeve, what’s the police situation around here?”
    “There aren’t any.”
    Shai-ster’s eyebrows shot up.
    “Then how do they enforce the laws?” he asked, forgetting himself.
    “As far as I can tell, there are no laws either.”
    “How ‘bout that, Shai-ster?” Don Bruce laughed. “No police, no laws, no lawyers. You’d be in trouble if you were born here.”
    I started to ask what a lawyer was, but the godfather saved me from my own ignorance by plunging into the next question.
    “How about politicians?”
    “None.”
    “Unions?”
    “None.”
    “Bookies?”
    “Lots,” I admitted. “This is the gambling capital of the dimensions. As near as I can tell, though, they all operate independently. There’s no central organization.”
    Don Bruce rubbed his hands together gleefully.
    “You listening to this, Shai-ster? This is some world Mister Skeeve is givin’ us here.”
    “He’s not giving it to us,” Shai-ster corrected. “He’s offering access to it.”
    “That’s right,” I said quickly. “Exploiting it is up to your organization. Now, if you don’t think your boys can handle it...
    “We can handle it. A layout like this? It’s a piece of cake.” Guido and Nunzio exchanged nervous glances, but held their silence as Don Bruce continued.
    “Now if I