Free Wild Heat (Northern Fire) by Lucy Monroe Page B

proud of you. Overcoming the need to starve yourself is as hard as breaking any other addiction, worse than a lot of them.”
    Her therapist and the doctors had all said that, too, but Nevin had always insisted the problem was her weakness.
    Part of her still agreed with him.
    “But I started it.” No one, not even Nevin, had held a gun to her head and told her to stop eating.
    Tack’s hand twitched, like he was going to reach for her, but then he didn’t. “And you stopped it. One in two who suffer from the disease can’t completely.”
    “You really did read up on it.”
    He nodded, his dark eyes demanding she believe him. He reached out to cup her face with both his hands, shrinking her awareness of everything down to the inches between them. “You are a fighter, Kitty. You won’t let this disease take your life.”
    “That’s almost exactly what I told my therapist.” Caitlin hadn’t necessarily believed her own words, but she’d desperately wanted them to be true.
    “Good girl. That’s my wildcat.”
    She knew the possessive my had been unconscious and didn’t believe for a second he meant it the way it had sounded. Still, it made her heart skip a beat and she couldn’t be sure if it was from fear or joy.
    “I don’t think I’m her anymore.”
    “So you’ve said, but I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
    “What?” she asked in a near whisper, her eyes focused on his lips.
    “I think you are and I plan to prove it to you.”
    “I’ll disappoint you.”
    “No, you won’t.”
    “You don’t know me anymore, Tack.”
    “I know you better than you think I do.” He dropped his hands but did not move back. “That whole size zero culture down there in LA, it fed the disease. We aren’t going to do that here in Cailkirn.”
    She missed the warmth of his fingers immediately, wanting nothing more than to have them against her cheeks again. Caitlin was starting to see how dangerous Tack touching her could be for her peace of mind. She could learn to need it and that scared her.
    She couldn’t afford to need anything from another person, not touch, not approval, and most especially not love. Needing gave others leverage over her and she was determined never to be in that place again.
    Caitlin forced herself to ignore the craving for more of his touch and focus on their discussion.
    She wasn’t actually entirely sure why they were having it, though, why her disease mattered to Tack. “Trying to encourage me to eat too much or the wrong food can be just as bad as the subtle suggestions to eat less.”
    Nevin had been excellent at those, but he’d refused to take any responsibility for how difficult it had become for her to make herself eat at all.
    “I know. You need to tell your family that. It’s natural for them to try to feed you.”
    “Yeah, food is the language of love for the Grant sisters.”
    “If you tell your gran and aunts how physically challenging it is for you to eat rich foods, they’ll channel that love into providing for your needs.”
    “I’m sure they would.” Not only did she find it nearly impossible to talk about her disease and its effects on her, but she also didn’t want people making special efforts on her behalf.
    Partly because putting them out made her uncomfortable and partly because allowing it put her in their debt.
    “That doesn’t sound like you plan to talk to them.” And he didn’t sound like he approved of that.
    She shrugged.
    “I’m learning to really dislike when you shrug.”
    “Why?”
    “Because it implies you don’t care and I know you do, Kitty.”
    “You’re so sure. I’m not the same woman you left behind in California.”
    “No, you’re stronger. That Kitty gave up her best friend on the say-so of her boyfriend. She wanted approval too much maybe and she wouldn’t have been able to fight back from anorexia and bulimia. That Kitty chose an MRS over her degree. You’re winning against the eating disorder and you managed to