Free MA09 Myth Inc in Action by Robert Asprin

across the bottom of a series of papers that have been sittin’ on his desk.
    “Do you know what an army that’s been growing as fast as ours needs the most, Guido?” he sez as he’s writin’.
    I start to say “Divine Intervention,” but decide to keep my mouth shut... which is just as well as he proceeds to answer his own question.
    “Leadership,” he sez, finishin’ his signin’ with a flourish of his quill. “We’re always on the lookout for new leaders... which is why I’m so pleased to sign these orders.”
    For a change, I have no difficulty lookin’ innocent and dumb, as he has totally lost me with his train of thought.
    “Sir?”
    “What I have here are the papers promoting you to sergeant and Nunzio... he’s your cousin, isn’t he?... to corporal.”
    Now I am really lost.
    “Promotions, sir?”
    “That’s right. Sergeant Smiley here has told me how the two of you have taken it on yourselves to lead your squad during training... even to the point of giving them extra training during off duty hours. After seeing for myself how you took command after... that mishap during training today, I have no problem approving your promotion. That’s the kind of leadership and incentive we like to see here in the army. Congratulations.”
    “Thank you, sir,” I sez, not bein’ able to think of anything else to say.
    “Oh yes... and one other thing. I’m pulling your entire unit out of training and assigning them to active duty. It’s only garrison duty, but it’s the only thing available right now. I figure that anything more they need to learn, you can help them pick up on the job. That’s all... Sergeant Guido.”
    It takes me a minute to register he is addressin’ me by my new rank, but I manage to come to attention and salute before turnin’ to go.
    “If I may, sir,” I heard Sergeant Smiley say, “I’d like to have a word outside with Sergeant Guido before he rejoins his unit.”
    I am half-expectin’ Smiley to try to jump me, bad arm and all, once we get outside, or at least lay some heavy threats on me about what would happen the next time our paths cross. Instead, he is all grins and holds out his good hand for me to shake.
    “Congratulations, Guido... sorry, I mean Sergeant Guido,” he sez. “There was one thing I wanted to say to you away from the other recruits.”
    “What’s that, Sergeant?”
    “I wanted to tell you that you were right all along... it does take more skill to handle a combat situation without killing... and I’m glad to see we’re getting men of your abilities enlisting on our side. Just remember, though, that we only have limited time to train the recruits... which is why we focus on getting them to think in terms of ‘kills’. If they’re at all squeamish about killing, if they think they can get by by disarming the enemy, they’ll try to do that instead... and they don’t have the skill and we don’t have the time to teach it to them, so they end up dead themselves and we end up placing second in a two army fight. Try to keep that in mind the next time you’re working with a group of raw recruits. In the meantime, good luck! Maybe we’ll get a chance to serve together again sometime.”
    I am so surprised by the sergeant turnin’ out to be a good Joe, not to mention givin’ careful consideration to the thoughts he laid on me, that I am nearly back to the unit before the full impact of my promotion sinks in.
    Then, I feel depressed. My entire career has been geared toward avoidin’ bein’ an authority-type figure, and now I am saddled with what is at least a supervisory post... permanent this time instead of temporary. My only consolations are that a) I can potentially do more damage havin’ a higher rank, and b) Nunzio has to suffer the burden of extra stripes right along with me. Perkin’ up a little from these thoughts, I go lookin’ for Nunzio, wantin’ to be the first to slip him the bad news.

AS EAGER AS we are to get on with our