Free MA09 Myth Inc in Action by Robert Asprin Page A

assignment, which is to say demoralizin’ and disruptin’ the army, both Nunzio and me are more than a little nervous about doin’ garrison duty.
    Not that there is anything wrong with the town, mind you. Twixt is a bigger’n average military town, which means there is lots of stuff to keep us amused during our off-duty hours. The very fact that it is a sizable burg, however, increases the odds of our presence bein’ noticed and reported to Don Bruce... which, as we have mentioned before, was not high on our list of desirable occurrences.
    The duty itself was annoyin’ly easy, annoyin’ in that it’s hard to stir up the troops when the worst thing facin’ them is boredom. The situation is readily apparent even when I put Nunzio to work settlin’ our crew in whilst I report in to the garrison commander.
    “Our only real job here is to maintain a military presence... show the flag so’s folks remember why they’re paying their taxes.”
    The individual deliverin’ this speech is average height, about a head shorter than me, and has dark tight-curly hair with a few wisps of grey showin’ in spots... which might have made him look dignified if he didn’t move like a dock worker tryin’ to finish early so’s he can go on a heavy date. He has a rapid-fire kinda speech pattern and rattles off his orders without lookin’ up from the papers he is scribblin’ on. I can’t help but notice, however, that what he is workin’ on so hard looks a lot like poetry... which I somehow don’t think is covered by his official orders.
    “All you and your boys gotta do is spend a certain number of hours a day patrolling the streets in uniform so’s folks can see the army is here. The rest of the time, you’re on your own.”
    “You mean like policemen?”
    The words just sorta popped outta my mouth, but they must’a had a note of horror in them, as the commander broke off what he was doin’ to look at me direct.
    “Not really,” he sez, quick-like. “We used to be responsible for patrolling the streets, but the town’s grown to a point where it has its own police force, and we try not to interfere with their authority. They watch the citizens, and our own Military Police watches our troops. Clear and separate. See?”
    “Yes sir.”
    “...Which brings us to another point,” the commander continues, startin’ to scribble on his papers again. “There’s a non-fraternization rule in effect for our troops. We don’t enforce it too strictly, so you don’t have to worry if one of the... ah, ladies makes advances toward you or your men, but let them come to you. Don’t start messing around with the ordinary civilian women. It’s liable to get the civilian men upset however it goes, and our main directive here is to not incite any trouble with the civilians. Be nice to them... show them we’re just plain folks, like they are. If you can do that, then they’re less inclined to believe any wild stories they might hear about what our troops are doing on the front lines. Got that?”
    I didn’t think it would really matter what I said or did, as the commander is rattlin’ all this off like it is memorized while he fiddles with his writin’. I didn’t think it would be wise to test this theory, however.
    “Yes sir,” I sez. “No fraternizin’ with the women... No fightin’ with the men. Got it.”
    “Very well, report back to your unit and see that they’re properly settled in. Then take the rest of the day to familiarize yourselves with the town, and report here for assignment tomorrow morning.”
    “Yes sir.” I draw myself up and give him a snappy salute, which he returns without even lookin’ up.
    I can’t help but feel I have kinda gotten the bum’s rush on my briefin’, so on the way out I pause to have few words with the commander’s clerk... a decision which I’ll admit is in part due to the factual that she is the only skirt I have seen in uniform except for Spyder, and I am beginnin’ to