Free Stealing Promises by Brina Courtney

and the man pulled up a chair next to her bed. “Let’s talk about what happened on Tuesday night. What do you remember?”
    He began scribbling in an empty notebook that he balanced across his lap. He had a foot rested on the opposing knee. He looked impatient and uncaring and barely made eye contact. But Victoria would say whatever she needed to get her out of this place; another hospital stay was not something Victoria was willing to endure. “My boyfriend died a week ago. I had enough of the pain. I just wanted it to end.” She looked away worried that the expression of pain on her face would cause her imprisonment to last longer than necessary.
    He sighed heavily, “And so you decided to take your own life?”
    The way he said it was so distinct and clear. Victoria had just thought about letting the pain fall away, she hadn’t ever thought of it as losing her life. Victoria had already lost that.
    “I wanted the pain to stop.”
    He scribbled something in his notebook and then murmured under his breath, “Ten stitches must be pretty painful.”
    “ I’m sorry?”
    He smiled in a fake way; Victoria was really starting to hate this guy. “Oh nothing, I was just noticing the two cuts you made. You did a number on yourself. Hit a couple really good veins, you would’ve bled out if your grief counselor hadn’t saved you.”
    “ It wasn’t her job to save me.”
    “ Then whose job was it Victoria? Are you going to save yourself?”
    Save herself. Could she do that? She stopped speaking while she contemplated this. Eventually the man got up and left. She couldn’t even remember if he had told her his name.
    She laid quietly in the white hospital bed allowing scratchy sheets to touch her skin for a long time before Kate came back in. “I don’t have very good news. Why wouldn’t you talk to him?”
    Victoria’s silent response was enough for her to understand. Something he had said made her think--saving herself. It had never crossed her mind before. Levi had always been there, rescuing her. Victoria didn’t think she even had the skills to manage her own rescue. She had never learned how.
    “You’re on lockdown for the night. No visitors. Sorry Victoria but until you crawl out of this you’re going be stuck in here.” Kate patted her hand tenderly and turned to leave. When she flipped the light switch Victoria was once again plunged into darkness. For some reason this time it didn’t feel like it was going to overtake her. She sat up slowly and looked around taking in her surroundings for the first time. There is nothing on the walls, not even a television. Must be a different ward then the one she was in the night of Levi’s death. Here she was a prisoner, controlled by sadness and anger. This wasn’t how Levi would’ve wanted it. And Victoria wouldn’t live like this.
    She spent twenty four hours on lockdown before a different psychologist gave her another evaluation and said she was clear to go. Her parents brought her back to their home once again. It was clear to everyone she wasn’t prepared to go back to school. She tossed and turned in her childhood bed attempting to block out the previous three days.  
    The next morning, Kate woke her up bright and early to talk, and to get her dressed for the first time in days.
    “Morning, Victoria. Today I'm going to take you somewhere.  You’re going to have to get out of your bed on your own.” Victoria refused to move. Kate had saved her but she needed a moment before telling Kate how she could save herself. Maybe not in such a valiant way, not that calling 911 and screaming for help was heroic, but it had worked. It had saved her life. Kate had done that. While she tried to find the words, Kate deployed the get out of bed tactic. She opened the window and ripped all the covers off of Victoria's bed. Victoria put a pillow over her face to block out the sun.
    “ I'm not going away, Victoria, you need to get up.” She began to pull on her