Free Beautiful Broken by Nazarea Andrews

going to school the same place you teach, Atti. And I found something to keep me busy—something that will keep me from relapsing. Isn't that what you want?"
    He's quiet. I roll my eyes. He doesn't believe I won't. I've known for years that Atti lacked faith in me, but this hurts. And it makes me even angrier.
    "I'm fighting to stay clean," I say quietly. "And you don't believe I can. But I will, Atticus. I'll fucking do it just to prove to you that I can."
    He starts to say something, but I hang up on him. I'm late and I'm tired of his shit.

 

Chapter 7
Dane
    I haven't been to a group meeting in years. But sitting next to Scout in the basement of Sacred Heart, a cup of bad coffee in my hands, I have to admit that nothing has changed.
    And I've missed it.
    I glance at her, startled again when I see her short brown hair. She chopped it off, a mass of disheveled layers that frames her face and a honeyed brown color that softens the edges of her—she's not as unapproachable and untouchably beautiful.
    It's new, and I already want to dig my hand into it and kiss her.
    A meth addict, her hands still shaking from withdrawals, is talking about her kids being taken away, and it serves to kill my growing arousal.
    There is nothing sexy about addicts. Nothing sexy about recovery—there is only the unending fight, and the relapses.
    Four years clean—no pain pills or drugs—and I still think I’ll relapse.
    The group leader is looking around the room—meth mom has fallen silent, and he's searching for someone to share. I see his gaze settle on Scout, and I shift, drawing his attention.
    "Would you like to share?" he asks.
    I hesitate—I'm only here to support Scout. But I can feel the tension radiating off of her, and I know she isn't ready. I shrug.
    "I'm Dane. Four years clean. It's been a while since my last meeting."
    "What brought you back?"
    My gaze darts to Scout. "It's been a while. Support is always good, right?"
    I don't like them watching me. Don't like how they want to know why I used and what and my darkest moments—it's all shit that doesn't need to be dragged up, and I just want to shut it down. But if I share, I’m giving Scout a little time to get comfortable. So I do.
    After group ends, I feel raw and exposed. It doesn't matter that I didn't reveal anything important to a roomful of strangers. The sensation is there, and it makes me feel itchy, like my skin is too tight.
    "What do you wanna do for dinner?" Scout asks, and I pause to glance at her.
    I want to go to a club and find some girl to screw—anything that will work off the energy buzzing under my skin. But instead I say, "Order Chinese. We'll pick it up on the way home."
    Scout grins as she slides into the Viper, already dialing.
    After she's repeated the order—three times—she hangs up and looks at me. "We've got thirty minutes."
     
    We end up going to Walmart, stocking up on orange juice and cookies before picking up a new board game to play. It's domestic and calming—I'm startled by how calming. The annoyed antsy feeling fades as I watch her try on sunglasses and scarves.
    "Dane!"
    I jerk around at the sound of Mel's voice. I stare as she pushes a cart full of groceries at me, an elegant older woman at her side.
    Her mother.
    "What are you doing here?" she asks, starting to go up on tiptoes to kiss my cheek.
    Scout steps out from the rack of scarves, some fluffy purple nonsense wrapped around her neck. I watch Mel drop back down, watch the smile leech from her face, replaced briefly by shock and anger. And then she's just blank.
    "Oh. I didn't realize you were with someone," she says, giving Scout a questioning look.
    Scout smiles. "Hey, Mel. It's good to see you again."
    " Scout ?"
    She doesn't look the same—I knew it, but hearing the shock in Mel's voice confirms it. Scout grins. "Yep. It's good to see you." Her smile dims a little when she looks at the other woman. Mel looks flustered. Off balance.
    "Um, I'm gonna go check out, Dane.