Free The Legend of the Ditto Twins by Jerry Douglas Page A

Great guy. Smart. Funny.
Bisexual."
    Although
Lily seemed to be speeding through life, there was a practical side to her,
too. Right in the middle of an anecdote about her part-time job at an abortion
clinic, she looked at her watch.
    "Time
for bed. Don't be late your first day on the job. Now that we're brother and
sister, I'll let you in on a little secret: Be early and you'll impress the
shit out of Clay."
    Ten
minutes later, in my new quarters, I began to go to pieces. Half a dozen times,
I started to say something to my brother before I remembered he wasn't there.
Noticing an ashtray on the bedside stand, I lit up, opened a window, and stared
at the bed. It was too big for me.
    I
finished unpacking, undressed, and carried the ashtray into the bathroom to
flush its contents away. Rinsing it out in the sink, I stared at myself in the
mirror over it, but all I could see was Clark staring back at me, and I started
to cry so hard that I opened the mirrored door wide to banish the image. What I
then saw was the inside of the medicine cabinet. It was freshly stocked: bars and
bars of soap; bottles of shampoo, mouthwash, aspirin; tubes of toothpaste, lip
salve, body gel; cans of deodorant, shaving cream, hairspray; a brand new
chrome razor; and right in the center of the bottom shelf, a giant economy-size
jar of Vaseline.
    I started
to laugh, closed the mirror, and tried to work on the memoirs. I felt as if I
were betraying Clark—but I knew I'd be able to fall asleep after all. Soon, I
embraced one of the oversized pillows, entwined my legs around it, and drifted
off, all wrapped up in The Rolling Stones.
     

     
    I only
found out how Clark had fared during the first day of my absence during our
first private phone conversation later in the week. That's when he told me what
I'm now writing here.
    He had
not come downstairs to see me off, nor even stood in the window to wave
goodbye. That much I knew. What I didn't know was what he did next: pulled on a
T-shirt and cargo shorts, then took them off, and put on my jockstrap before he
went down to dawdle over breakfast. That made perfect sense; I'd worn his every
day since I left.
    About the
time Dad and I were halfway to Uncle Clay's, Clark took his bike and headed
into town, idly searching for some way to survive w hat was already turning out
to be the longest day of his life. Soon, he found himself outside Walgreens.
That's when he saw Go-To Guy leaning against a stop sign. This is what
occurred, as Clark later related it to me.
    "Hey-hey.
What's happenin ?" asked Go-To Guy.
    "Nothing."
    "Where's
your brother?"
    "Out
of town. Got a summer job working for my uncle."
    "Oh,
yeah? Why didn't you go, too?"
    "Long
story."
    "I
got time. You got a cigarette?"
    "Don't
you? How come?"
    "I
think Mr. Johnson's on to me. Every time I go in there, he follows me around
like I'm some kind of thief."
    Not
having anything better to do, Clark padlocked his bike to the stop sign, and
the two of them started off to find a place to have a smoke. Before long they
found themselves in front of what remained of the old Rialto Theatre, which was
in the process of being torn down. Nothing was left of it but piles of rubble
waiting to be hauled away, and in no time they found a private nook between two
giant cornices resting catty corner to each other under a stack of rusty fire
escapes. Clark got out his cigarettes.
    "I
can't pay," said Go-To Guy, taking one. "I'm savin ’
every penny to get to Chicago."
    "That's
okay. No problem."
    "Thanks."
Go-To Guy found his lighter. "So. You gonna tell me about your
brother?"
    Little by
little, Clark poured out our problems at home (but skipped entirely the tale of
the Vaseline). Spurred on by Go-To Guy's admission that he'd always wanted a
brother, Clark opened up more and more. It was a natural thing to do, I guess.
    Go-To Guy
exhaled his free cigarette. "Parents are always so fucked up about
sex," he decided. "They probably think the two of you are doin ' the