Free The Legend of the Ditto Twins by Jerry Douglas Page B

dirty with each other."
    Clark
shrugged uneasily.
    "Are
you?"
    "No!"
    "You
don't have to shout. If I had a twin, I would be."
    Clark was
saved from responding by a rumbling crash just outside, accompanied by a
blinding cloud of smoke. After it cleared, he peered cautiously out, only to
see me staring at him out of the dust—or what seemed to be me. Then he realized
that it was his own reflection in a large mirror that had slid off a pile of
debris and landed just outside their hideaway.
    Once his
initial shock had subsided, Clark began to study the mirror more intently.
Miraculously, there was only a small crack across one corner of the glass, and
though the gilt frame had been jarred loose from the pane, it was still intact.
With a bit of help from Go-To Guy, he leaned the mirror against one cornice. It
was taller than he was. Enthralled by what he saw, he watched his own hands
brush himself off. He moved nearer to observe his blond image light a
cigarette. Inching forward until he was pressing his body against the mirror,
he felt the warm glass against his lips as he watched himself blow smoke into
the mouth of his reflection.
    "What
the fuck are you doin '?" asked Go-To Guy.
    Clark
wheeled around. "I've got to have this"
    "Are
you out of your fuckin' mind?"
    "Help
me get it home. I'll give you a pack of Marlboros."
    "A
whole pack? Where do you live?"
    "Just
this side of the creek."
    "Do
you know how far that is?"
    "Two
packs."
    "Do
you know how heavy it is?"
    They
settled on four. Considering that it took them over an hour to carry it home,
Clark considered the deal a real bargain.
    Our
mother was standing on the porch. "What in the world is that?" she
asked.
    "Isn't
it awesome, Mom? Have you ever seen this big a mirror in your whole life? And
they were throwing it out. Oh! This is my buddy. Go-To Guy. Say hello, you two."
    "Afternoon,
ma'am. Nice to meet you."
    "Nice
to meet you." Mom gave him a quick once-over. "Do they really call
you Go-To Guy?"
    "Everyone
does. You can, too."
    "Why,
thank you."
    Clark was
both surprised and relieved by his new friend's politeness and deference to
Mom, and she was so impressed by the appearance of a buddy on the premises that
she even helped them lug the mirror upstairs into our bedroom. And then, out of
the blue, she invited Go-To Guy to stay for supper.
    "Geez,
I'd like to, ma'am, but I really can't," he said. "I've got things to
do."
    "Of
course. Another time, okay? You come back now."
    The
moment she retreated back downstairs, Go-To Guy flopped on the bed and stared
at the magnificent monstrosity that now overwhelmed our tiny room.
    "Y'know
what you should do?" he decided, studying himself in the mirror.
"Mount it on the ceiling. That's what they do in Paris whorehouses—so you
can watch yourself fuck."
    "Where
did you read that?"
    "Who
reads? Saw it in a movie once." He flipped over and started humping the mattress.
"I'd love to watch myself having sex sometime. Wouldn't you? That'd be
hot."
    "Yeah,
cool," agreed Clark and quickly scurried into the closet to find the four
packs of cigarettes that were due.
    On the
way back to town to retrieve Clark's bike, they talked mostly about sex. As
usual, Go-To Guy was a font of forbidden information, and as he shared the
graphic details of his carnal knowledge, Clark soon became comfortable enough
to pose a question he'd been wanting to ask all along.
    "Do
you really jerk off for guys out at the rest stop?"
    "Just
between us? Swear?"
    Clark
nodded.
    "Well,
yeah. Why not? Man, they love me out there." He groped himself proudly.
"I'll tell ya , my dicks gonna get me to
Chicago."
    "How
much do they pay for... uh... that sort of thing?" Go-To Guy told him.
"Shit, man, that's not very much."
    "Yeah,
but there's what they call a slidin ' pay scale. You
know, for..." He glanced around. "...other things."
    "Like?"
    "Blowjobs."
    "Blowjobs?"
    "For Chrissake , you know what a blowjob is, don't you?"
Clark nodded indignantly, and Go-To Guy continued.