Free A Really Cute Corpse by Joan Hess

of the kitchen. “I’m glad you’re finally here, Claire. The luncheon was supposed to start at exactly one, but this interview is throwing us off schedule. According to Luanne’s report, everyone should be seated by now so that she can make the introductory remarks and introduce the panel of judges. She isn’t even here.”
    â€œI have to drive her home so she can rest,” I said. “Otherwise, she won’t be able to attend the preliminary round tonight and that’ll play total havoc on the schedule. We’ll never recover.” I produced a worried frown, then clasped my hands and beamed at the woman. “I know how we can avert disaster, Sally—you fill in for me.”
    â€œBut in the report it says …”
    â€œYou can fill in for me, because I’m merely filling in for Luanne, who’s most likely unconscious by now. Look at the time! You’d better seat everybody at once and get started with your introductory remarks. I’ll rescue Steve from the reporter and send him right in.”
    I left before she could protest and once again wiggled through the bystanders. Steve was still expounding on his record, but when he saw me he broke off and pulled me to his side. “This is our gorgeous pageant director, Claire Malloy. All the girls are terrified that Claire will end up as the new Miss Thurberfest, aren’t they, Claire?”
I stared at the flat black eye of the camera, and then at the amused reporter. “I’m not the official director,” I said, willing myself not to stammer despite a very real urge to do so. “Luanne Bradshaw is in charge; I’m simply helping her due to a minor accident during rehearsal.”
    The reporter shoved the microphone at me. “What can you tell us about the second annual Thurberfest, Ms. Malloy? Can we look forward to lots of excitement, music, food, and family entertainment right here in the heart of our community?”
    â€œI suppose so.”
    After a moment of silence, the reporter stepped in front of the camera and began to tell her viewers about the good fortune in finding Senator Stevenson during his busy campaign season, and how much excitement we were going to find right here in the heart of our community. I whispered to Steve that he was needed inside, and then escaped the crowd and went on to the bookstore.
    The clerk assured me that all was well and that she’d handled the sole sale without a problem. I warned her to expect more business once crowds started swarming the sidewalks to the grand Thurberfest parade and ensuing Gala Sidewalk Sale, then went to my car.
    Luanne was waiting in front of the theater. After she was in the passenger’s seat, with the crutches stowed in the back, she pointed out rather snootily that the luncheon was half over. I assured her that it was in its infancy because of the press conference, and that Sally Fromberger would put everyone back on a tidy time track.
    â€œWhat press conference?” she asked. “There’s not anything scheduled until tonight, and it’s not until the emcee has read the names of the seven finalists. I
thought we might rope in a few more relatives and friends if each girl said a few words.”
    â€œOur emcee is running for attorney general and so enjoys meeting the people and participating in local events right here in the heart of our community. He wanted to share his feelings with the press.”
    â€œOh,” Luanne said wisely. “Then he called the press conference?”
    â€œI don’t know, but he was certainly basking in it.” Failing to mention other baskers, I stopped in front of Luanne’s house and held her arm while she hobbled from the curb to her bedroom. After I’d done everything I promised, and even found a package of cookies in case of a craving, I took out the notebook and studied the immediate future.
    â€œCyndi and Steve are in the same convertible,” I