Free The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides Page B

been thinking about you all day. In fact, sleep erections don’t involve the same neurology as erotic erections. So even if it seems like your man is ready for action, treat his penis like it’s a floppy one that needs to be aroused. Try kissing or playing with it before jumping his bone(s). This will help turn it into a waking-state erection and might help prevent it from going down.
    Since his erection was not born from sexual desire, don’t assume that your boyfriend feels like having sex. He might feel better if he could pee and brush his teeth. On the other hand, he may be just fine boning the babe of his dreams with a full bladder and dragon breath.
    A Wet Warning — Ain’t Love Grand!
    Every once in a while a girlfriend will ask a guy if she can stand behind him and hold his penis while he pees. This is a completely normal request born of completely normal curiosity. But be forewarned that you are sometimes giggling so hard that the entire bathroom becomes a target. On the other hand, women sometimes do a better job of aiming the thing than we men. As for penile calligraphy skills, one female friend of this Guide loves grabbing her husband’s penis and writing their names in the snow with its amber stream.
    First Ejaculation
    Before starting puberty, a guy can stroke his little pecker until it falls off, and his orgasms will mostly be dry except for maybe a few drops of clear, slick, slightly viscous fluid. During puberty, this changes until he produces an adult-sized wad when he has an orgasm. Instead of being clear and thin, it’s white and thick. Instead of being a drop or two, it’s a teaspoonful or two that oozes all over the place.
    The process of going from a few drops to a full wad can be quite wonderful if you know what to expect and know it’s normal. It can be disturbing if a guy hasn’t been told about ejaculation and masturbates for the first time after entering puberty. By then he’s fully loaded and ready to shoot. Porn on the Internet is so prevalent that some young guys might be better prepared for their first wad than some of the following readers were, and some of today’s pre-pubescent porn watchers might feel something is wrong because they aren’t able to ejaculate yet:
“I didn’t really know what I was doing. I was about eleven and discovered this new feeling when I rubbed this silky part of my blanket over my penis, so I kept doing it. Eventually, I got this intense feeling in my groin and then there was this goop everywhere. I was completely freaked and grossed out. I thought that I broke myself, but was too afraid to tell my parents.” male age 24
“I had heard about masturbation while sitting in the back of the school bus. When I tried it just the way the kids told me, it was almost like pain. For weeks I would stop short of actual orgasm for fear that I would do some sort of internal damage to myself. Finally, one day I kept rubbing through my fear and found that I enjoyed the hurting tremendously.” male age 25
    The Couch-Potato Penis
    As things get older, they start to petrify or harden. This is true for logs, fossils and the human brain. Unfortunately, it is not true for the human penis. As a penis approaches its fifth decade, it tends to petrify less fully than it did earlier in life. It also squirts less fluid during ejaculation. Some women will cling to this information like a ray of hope, while others will be disappointed. Whatever your situation, it shouldn’t make much difference. As the bearer of the penis gets older, he becomes wiser in the ways of love. By then, he can compensate with wit and wisdom for what he loses in hardness and volume.
    Older men don’t always make an effort to stay in good shape. It’s being out of shape, rather than increasing age, that often causes the couch-potato penis and decline in libido. However, age alone is responsible for changes in ejaculation, with the middle-aged man sometimes feeling nostalgic for his teenage genitals,