Free Tallow by Karen Brooks Page B

cautiously. 'I'm good at making candles. At least, I was.' Memories of my recent efforts taunted me.
    She tipped her head and regarded me solemnly. 'Let me tell you what I think. I think you know you're ... let's say, different. That you're capable of doing things, wonderful scary things, but you don't know how to control the urge to do them or what happens afterwards.'
    'I don't know what you mean,' I said belligerently.
    Katina stifled a laugh. 'Oh, come on. You're telling me you don't feel what others are feeling? That whenever you touch an object, its entire history, its emotional and physical life, its very essence, doesn't burn its way into your own heart and mind? Are you going to tell me that you can't catch hold of those feelings and make them stronger or change them? And that this hasn't been happening more over the past few weeks?'
    How could she know so much? I tried to keep my astonishment and fear from showing.
    'Your guardians know.' She jabbed a finger towards Pillar. 'They know what you are and what one day, with the right training, you'll be capable of doing. All Serenissians do. That's why you're forbidden from meeting people, from looking at them. That's why you've been beaten ...'
    'That's not true. It was only –' began Pillar, and then stopped.
    My heart began to thump so hard that it caused me both pleasure and pain. At last, my curiosity was being assuaged. Pillar's protests were meaningless. This woman knew – she knew it all. The question was, how? And why was she here?
    'Tallow keeps her head bowed,' Katina pressed on, 'and her eyes lowered. You trained her well – or should I say, you made her too afraid to do anything else.' She flashed Pillar an accusatory look. 'But when you know what you're looking for, eyes like that stand out. Yet it was still a while before I got to stare into them, before I knew for certain.' No-one spoke. The fire crackled. Katina reached down and picked up Pillar's mug. Banging the residue out of it, she refilled it. This time, she left out the cafe.
    'Knew what?' I asked quietly, knowing deep down what I would hear.
    'That you, my dear Tallow, are an Estrattore.'
    Pillar drew his breath in sharply. Outside, the rain fell in a steady rhythm against the window. The wind roared, yet it didn't come close to matching the noise in my ears.
    There, someone else had said it.
    I am an Estrattore. An outcast, a heretic; one of those doomed by law to die. I summoned my courage. If Katina was right, then I wanted to know exactly what I was. 'Who are the Estrattore?' I asked. 'What are they? What am I?'
    Katina rose to her feet and took time to gather her thoughts. Finally, she turned towards me. 'Estrattore are born, not made,' she said. 'They're part of an ancient bloodline, one, according to legend, that descends from the original inhabitants of this world of Vista Mare – the first gods.'
    'You mean God,' muttered Pillar. 'There's only one.'
    Katina ignored him. 'It's said they carry the old magic deep in their blood. The power of the ancient gods themselves.'
    Magic! I couldn't believe I'd heard that word uttered under this roof.
    I heard Pillar mutter a prayer. I wasn't sure if it was because Katina dared to speak so openly of pagan gods or the Estrattore. But I knew he considered her words blasphemous.
    I didn't. I relished every single one of them. Even though they scared me, these words were starting to fill the enormous blank that was my life until now.
    Katina changed tack. 'It used to be easy to tell an Estrattore from everyone else. All Estrattore are born with silver eyes. It's said they don't look out on the world the way ordinary mortals do, but inwards, to its very core.' She leant towards me. 'Your eyes are the purest silver I have ever seen. They reflect everything – objects, people.' She tore her gaze away.
    'Seeing you now, I can understand why those not expecting to find an Estrattore wouldn't have seen one. It would be easy to convince someone they were