Free The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man by Brett Mckay, Kate Mckay

out for dinner with him and his spouse.
    Meet your neighbors. It’s not only serial killers who can accurately be described as “quiet men who kept to themselves.” You can sadly live in a neighborhood for ten years and not know the people who live next door to you. But they might turn out to be your future best bud. So don’t be a Dahmer. A great way to meet your neighbors is by hosting a party or attending neighborhood events like block parties. If you’re feeling particularly brave, just go up and introduce yourself.
    Join an organization. Part of the difficulty today’s men face with making new friends is the isolated nature of their social lives. There’s work and home, and not much else. Joining an organization is quite possibly the best way to create a social circle for yourself.
    Manly Advice: Potential Organizations to Join
Fraternal Organizations. They’re not just for your grandpa. Fraternal organizations are the perfect conduit for friendship making because they provide all the ingredients needed for brotherly bonding: common ideals, a sense of tradition and responsibility, and a focus on service. While there are several great fraternal organizations out there, it’s hard to refute that the Masons are the best.
Churches/Religious Organizations. Like fraternal orders, churches are a fruitful place to make man friendships as they are a place where you can find gents with similar values and goals. Many churches have groups that are for men only and are designed for both fellowship and spiritual growth.
Sports Leagues. If you love sports, instead of spending your weekend alone watching them on TV, join an intramural league and get back on the field. From flag football to ultimate frisbee, your town is sure to have clubs that meet for some good old-fashioned man competition. Joining up will whip you into shape, feed your man spirit and give you the kind of bond with other men that can only be found on the playing field.
Toastmasters. Toastmasters solves two fundamental problems in the life of modern man: a lack of friends and a deficiency in the art of public speaking. Not only will you learn to be a better orator, you’ll also meet lots of other men to befriend.
Book Clubs. For some reason (read: Oprah), book clubs have become associated with women, baring one’s soul and Kleenex. But there’s nothing sissy about books; discussing great literature was a pastime of many of the great men in history. Libraries sometimes offer male-only book clubs that read books men like. If your library doesn’t, why not start one at your house?
    Keeping Your Friendships Alive
    “Good fellowship and friendship are lasting, rational and manly pleasures.”
    —William Wycherley
    Set a common goal. Men experience the greatest bond when they are working together toward a common purpose, i.e., when they become a band of brothers. The same is true whether you’re storming Omaha Beach or simply living in the burbs. So set a goal to attain with your friend or a group of friends. Decide to run a marathon, quit smoking or lose weight. Don’t forget to set up a system to ensure accountability.
    Create a competition. Competition in life can drive people apart; a friendly competition among men can bring them together. Create a competition with your friends and set a friendly wager; something a bit embarrassing for the loser is always fun and will keep the group motivated.
    Figure 2.2 A friendly competition among men can bring them together.

    Take a mancation. Mancations are occasions for pure, uninterrupted male bonding. They can be as short as a weekend or as long as a week. The destination can be anywhere, but it should involve manly activities. The key to the mancation is to make it an immutable tradition. Set a time and make it an annual happening. You can plan the other things in your life around that nonnegotiable date.
    Guys’ night out. The cliché of the “guys’ night out” involves a man ditching his unhappy wife and