Free In Darkness Lost by Ariel Paiement

has a long line of marrying the Court Mage. My mother was Court Mage before she became Queen. And her father was Court Mage before her. Her great-great grandfather married the Queen of Argent, and he was Court Mage too. Besides, I’ve heard all the nobles talking about us. They think we’ll get married.” She smiled at me, clearly excited about the prospect.
    I supposed I encouraged it because deep down, I wanted it too. I hadn’t told her I wouldn’t marry her, just that I wouldn’t do so during the war. And no matter what she said, I wouldn’t.
    “Dairdra…” I wanted her to stop.
    Just as I’d already mentioned to her, I wouldn’t agree to a marriage between the two of us until after the war. After the war… When I’d be thrown into jail as a traitor if she won.
    But she wouldn’t win. King Vill of Cyril would. And we’d be free to run away from it all. We’d go into hiding, and we could be married after that. But not until then.
     “Crypt, you can’t deny what you are. You’re the most powerful mage in Argent, and everyone wants my heirs to be yours. They want it because everyone knows that our children would be some of the best, most powerful rulers Argent has ever seen. Some of them, at least.” She moved back up against me, resting her head against my chest.
    I moved back, staring at her. “So that’s what I am to you then? A political pawn? A thing of convenience?” My voice rose along with my fury.
    “No. That’s not what you are to me, at all! It’s just what you are to the nobles. Crypt, come on. You’ve known that since the day you became recognized as the Queen’s young protégée.” She gazed at me with tear-filled eyes, biting her lip in nervousness as she realized she’d upset me.
    “I guess I did.” I looked at the floor, voice quiet now.
    “But to me… I love you, Crypt. I want to marry you, but it wouldn’t be a political thing. Not to me.” She breathed out in a rush, running her fingers through her hair.
    “Well, it doesn’t matter. I won’t marry you. Not till this war is over at least.” I muttered, my gaze glued to the floor.
    She sighed. “I understand that.”
    “I don’t think you do…” I mumbled. “Look, I told you what you wanted to know. I need to get back to work.”
    “Alright.” She whispered, eyes filled with tears as my words sank in.
    I watched silently as she walked out of the hut. The door slammed shut.
    Sinking back down into my chair, I buried my face in my arms. This was tearing me apart. What was I thinking being involved in all this? I should just go try to get my sister out, and if I couldn’t and I died, so much the better for me. I’d be out of this torture and confusion.
    “But I can’t.” I murmured. “I can’t run away and leave. Dairdra still needs me… I love her too much to go now… And besides, I’m no better than she is in regards to a fight. I can’t run once I’ve become entwined. Guess I’m stuck.” I growled at myself, raking my long fingers through my hair and banging my head against the tabletop, utterly defeated.
    The realization of this was crushing. I slumped down in the chair, tears squeezing out of the corners of my eyes. I took shuddering breaths, feeling that I couldn’t breathe. The walls were closing in on me... I was caught between the cliff and the flames. I couldn’t run into either, or I’d end up destroyed. What was I thinking? There had to be a way out.
    But there wasn’t.  There was no escape.  I had to fight or die. No third choice or way out. No happy ending or compromise. In my world, compromise had just ended. There was no happy medium between my two choices.
    I’m going to die. If I betray Dairdra, she’ll have to execute me for it should she win this war. If I turn my back on Cyril and tell her the truth about my sister, the king will send assassins after me or kill me himself. And I won’t survive it. No amount of magic could save me if he decided to poison me. Or he could