Free Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck by Thug Kitchen

POTATOES AND COLLARDS
    Nobody is going to be picky when you serve up this tasty-ass plate. A little sweet, a little smoky, but all around goddamn delicious.
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 6
    1½ cups dried black-eyed peas
    6 medium to large sweet potatoes
    2 teaspoons olive oil
    1 onion, chopped into pea-size pieces
    3 ribs celery, chopped into pea-size pieces
    ¼ teaspoon salt
    ½ teaspoon ground allspice*
    ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg
    ½ teaspoon paprika
    2 to 3 cloves garlic, minced
    3 to 4 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, chopped into pea-size pieces**
    3 cups vegetable broth
    2 or 3 batches Wilted Greens
    1 Rinse the black-eyed peas and throw out any grit or fucked-up looking peas. Put the peas in a large bowl and cover them with a couple inches of water. Let them soak overnight or for at least 6 hours. After soaking, drain the peas and start fucking cooking.
    2 Before you start to cook the peas, crank your oven to 400°F. Grab your sweet potatoes and stab the fuck out of them with a fork in a couple spots. This helps the steam release while they roast and helps you get some of that stabbiness out your system. Put them on a baking sheet and sit them in the oven until you can stick a knife through them without resistance, about 45 minutes.
    3 Now back to the black-eyed peas. In a large pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion and sauté that shit until it starts to brown in some places, about 5 minutes. Add the celery and cook until it starts to get a little soft, about 2 minutes. Add the salt and spices and sauté for 30 seconds. Add the garlic and chipotles to the pot and cook for another 30 seconds.
    4 Toss the drained black-eyed peas into the pot along with the broth and bring that shit to a simmer. Let it simmer uncovered until the peas are tender. This can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour depending on how long you soaked your peas and how old they are. If you start running out of liquid before those are ready, add a little more broth or water. If the peas are tender and you’ve still got too much broth in there, just drain some of that shit off. Not a big fucking deal. Just check the seasoning when you are all done and add more herbs or spices if you think it needs it.
    5 Make your wilted collard greens right before the sweet potatoes are done roasting.
    6 When the sweet potatoes are done, split them open lengthwise and fluff them with a fork. Feel free to add a little unrefined coconut oil and a pinch of salt to spice those sweet fuckers up. Pour at least 1 cup of peas over the potatoes and 2 cups of the greens. Serve right away.
    *
This is not a blend of spices—it’s a berry with a confusing ass name. It is in a lot of Caribbean food and should be right next to all the spices and shit in your store
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    **
These smoked peppers in sauce are sold in a tiny can and are usually near the salsa and beans. When you chop the chipotles, cut them open and scrape out the seeds. If you prefer it hot, then keep some of the seeds in, but think of your butt hole tomorrow as you make that call
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APPLE BAKED BEANS
    These beans are dope alongside the White Bean and Red Lentil Burgers or in a bowl with the Roasted Broccoli and Millet Pilaf and Wilted Greens .
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 6 AS A SIDE
    1½ cups dried white beans
    5 cups water
    2 teaspoons olive oil
    ½ yellow onion, chopped
    1 clove garlic, minced
    1 teaspoon smoked paprika
    1 can (15 ounces) low- or no-salt tomato sauce
    1 tablespoon molasses
    1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
    2 tablespoons brown sugar
    2 teaspoons soy sauce or tamari
    1 sprig fresh rosemary*
    2½ cups vegetable broth
    1 medium apple, whatever kind you like to eat, chopped into bite-size cubes
    1 Sift through the beans and pick out any that look all fucked up. Pour them into a big-ass bowl with the water and let them soak overnight.
    2 When your beans are all softened, it’s time to make some goddamn dinner. Drain the beans. Grab a large pot and heat the oil over medium heat. Throw in the onion and