Free The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman Page B

can’t predict gender identity by whether or not someone is orgasm-focused. See chapter 14, Gender (Not Destiny). It also doesn’t necessarily mean she’s shut down, self-hating, or unable to have orgasms.
    Ask your partner how she feels about orgasm and what kinds of sexual attention she likes for herself. She may share with you profound feelings about her gender and sexuality. She may feel completely gratified by your sexual encounter. After your strap-on stud has finished riding you through more orgasms than you can count, she may simply be spent.
Truly, all I care about is pleasing my femme. Sometimes I don’t have any orgasms at all, and neither one of us feels that the session is missing anything. Now, if my girlfriend didn’t have an orgasm, I imagine that we would feel differently. We have different sexual roles.
    Your partner’s experience of your orgasm isn’t vicarious. Think of your partner’s lips, hand, or pelvis as a conduit for sexual energy. As your body is humming with orgasm, your partner is riding that wave with you. She may indeed feel your orgasm from her heart to the bottom of her toes.

    Multiple Orgasms
    Women can and do have multiple orgasms. Which doesn’t mean you should have multiple orgasms or even that multiple orgasms are more satisfying than ordinary single orgasms.
I’m not multiorgasmic and that’s OK with me because the ones I already have nearly break the bank.
    But many women do find that one orgasm leads to another, with very little time elapsing in between.
After she fucks me really hard, if my partner goes back to my clitoris and plays roughly with it, I will usually orgasm again, and again, and again….
    Rather than relaxing into afterglow, these women go right back to the plateau stage and come over and over. Some women experience this as a series of smaller orgasms; others experience orgasms that increase in intensity and duration, leading up to a really big bang.
Sometimes I have smaller orgasms before the big one. After the big one, I get ticklish and it’s hard to be touched. But if my partner works past that point I have powerful orgasms over and over.
    How do you achieve multiple orgasms? In The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, Cathy Winks and Anne Semans offer three rules for achieving multiple orgasms: “back off, breathe, and move.” After you come, and your clit is too sensitive to touch, back off without entirely ceasing stimulation. Winks and Semans suggest switching to a lighter or less direct touch. Then, breathe. Breathing oxygenates your body and keeps the energy flowing. And move—move your pelvis, your legs, your feet. “Let the energy build back up in your genitals. Within a few minutes, excruciating overstimulation may well give way to excruciating pleasure….” 1
The only way I reach multiple orgasms is if my partner just doesn’t stop when I tell her to. Then they’re in rapid-fire succession.

    Tantra and Extended Orgasms
    You may experience extended orgasms, one long delicious coming that seems to last and last. Or you may ride the edge of the plateau almost indefinitely, without actually coming.
    What if we viewed orgasm not as a peak (sharp rise, sharp drop) but as a wave or flow of sensation and energy? Margo Anand, author of the classic The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers, suggests that instead of thinking of orgasm as an explosion —sending energy outward—we think of it as an implosion and redirect the energy upward and through the chakras, or energy centers, of the body. 2
    Mikaya Heart distinguishes between multiple and extended orgasms. In her book When the Earth Moves: Women and Orgasm, she defines extended orgasm as a state of “continual sensation” that can last up to six hours, while multiple orgasms are discrete “ongoing individual orgasms with a break between each one, and then more stimulation to bring on the next one.” 3
    You may experience energy orgasms or whole-body orgasms.