Free The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman

strap-on—get tired. (These will also help out with your partner’s fatigue and that pesky repetitive stress problem.)
I need my vibrator; it’s very difficult for me to come by any other method. I can have an orgasm from oral sex, but it’s hard for my girlfriend to keep up the constant, unchanging stimulation that I need. I need repetitive movements, and it takes a while.
    If you don’t happen to have an earth-shattering orgasm every time your girlfriend makes love to you, it doesn’t mean that she’s a bad lover or that you’ve fallen out of love. It may be that you’re just not getting the right stimulation to send you over the edge. You may be too stressed. You may not know your partner well enough, trust her enough, trust yourself enough, or feel safe enough to give it up in that moment. Just how vulnerable you care to be varies from day to day.
I don’t always have the most intense orgasms that I know I can have. It depends on my psychological readiness to be thoroughly opened.
    Orgasm is about pleasure. It’s not about your girlfriend’s reputation or bedpost notches—that’s her problem. That she may be gratified by your coming is great—but it’s not the point for you.
    However you come, how easily, how hard, how often, you have a sexuality that’s yours and yours alone. You’re not broken, gluttonous, selfish, oversexed, defective, or perverted (unless thinking of yourself in these terms turns you on). You needn’t compare yourself to some mythic example of sapphic perfection.

    If You Can’t Have an Orgasm
    If you’ve never had an orgasm, or aren’t sure if you’ve had an orgasm, you may be preorgasmic, a term that presumes that you can become orgasmic. (See chapter 6, Masturbation, for suggestions on learning to orgasm.) There are many reasons why you may never have had an orgasm or may find it very difficult to reach orgasm. Chief among them are lack of information about your body and sexual response, dissociation, and trauma from sexual abuse.
    You may be anorgasmic (not having orgasms) for physiological reasons. These include a range of health conditions—and the medications used to treat them. Depression and antidepressants are notorious for wreaking havoc on one’s ability to come. Even the hormonal changes of pregnancy and menopause can affect orgasm. (See chapter 3, Anatomy and Sexual Response.)
    You may wonder if you’ll ever get your sexual response back.
    Most likely you will regain your capacity for pleasure and orgasm. In the meantime, take the advice given to the woman who has never had an orgasm. Go back to the beginning. Grab your lube, your favorite vibrator, unplug the phone, prop your beautiful self up on some pillows, and pretend you are masturbating for your very first time.

    Does Viagra Work for Women?
    In short, yes—for some women and one specific sexual function: physiological arousal. Drugs like Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis will not make you think sexy thoughts. You can take Viagra before the Big Date, but it won’t restore the ongoing flow of erotic energy in your life.
    Many women have tried Viagra and other drugs with much success. While Viagra (sildenafil) was developed to help men overcome erectile dysfunction, it’s increasingly being taken by women.
    Viagra works by increasing vasoactivity—that’s blood flow. Blood flow leads to engorged tissues, which leads to clitoral erection, and voilà: physical arousal.
I was so hot. I didn’t realize I was that turned on, and then suddenly, my cunt was so open my partner fit her whole hand inside me right away. Then she put a huge butt plug up my ass. And this was without much in the way of a warm-up.
I hadn’t had a real orgasm in months (I’m on Effexor), but I found myself coming and coming and I couldn’t stop.
    This is pure physiology in action.
    Should you try Viagra? Naturally there is a raging debate on this one, with medical researchers, sex educators, women’s health activists, and pharmaceutical