Free The Final Exam by Gitty Daneshvari Page A

Macaroni’s bulky body.
    “Madame, Mister Abernathy,” Schmidty said sternly, “might we continue this altercation outside?”
    Just then a loud and most disturbing snorting soundcame from the front of the plane and resonated through the chamber. As Pilot Aronson opened the cockpit door, the group saw a flash of Sylvie through the windshield. Rather spectacularly, she was unharmed, aside from minimal bruising.
    “Did someone forget to mention that a crazy woman who looks like a pig is stalking them?” Pilot Aronson asked animatedly.
    “Yes, now that I think about it, I
did
forget to mention Sylvie,” Mrs. Wellington said without a tinge of embarrassment. “I can tell you now if you like: there’s a crazy woman who looks like a pig stalking me.”
    “How do we plan to get out of here without Sylvie on our tail?” Garrison asked.
    “Pilot Aronson, how far are we from the airport?” Lulu inquired, covering her throbbing left eye.
    “We’re here.”
    “But this is just a dirt field,” Madeleine said, looking out the window.
    “Welcome to Sarnacville Airport, also known as a dirt field,” Pilot Aronson announced before returning to the cockpit to radio for help.
    “Oh, no, look at all those trees! I bet they’re loadedwith creepy crawlers absolutely desperate to torment me,” Madeleine screeched, panicky.
    “But why would they want to torment you?” Abernathy squeaked reasonably.
    “How should I know? You’re the one who’s friends with them,” Madeleine barked aggressively, or as aggressively as a polite English girl is capable of.
    Pilot Aronson quickly returned to the cabin with an important update.
    “The pig lady’s foot is stuck in the fan belt, so if you’re looking to make a break for it, now would be a good time.”
    “I’ve decided it most prudent that I remain on the plane,” Madeleine stated quietly.
    “Madeleine wants to stay on the plane, I think she is insane, something’s wrong with her brain, let’s order chow mein,”
Hyacinth sang inappropriately.
    “That sounds like a Top 40 hit to me,” Abernathy said sweetly.
    “Insect lover,” Madeleine grumbled at Abernathy. “I don’t care what anyone says; I shall remain here.”
    “I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but Mrs.Wellington’s whole spiders-die-at-ten-thousand-feet thing is nonsense. And if you don’t believe me, there’s a huge web behind you to prove it,” Lulu explained seriously to Madeleine.
    “How could you?” Madeleine hollered at Mrs. Wellington as she leaped for the door.
    Mrs. Wellington quickly surveyed the plane and noted that there wasn’t a web in sight.
    “Don’t be so surprised. You’re not the only one who knows how to lie for someone else’s own good,” Lulu said with a smirk.
    “Well done, contestant. Although I prefer the term ‘fib’; it’s less likely to be used against you in a court of law,” Mrs. Wellington said as she exited onto the dusty field.
    While Sylvie Montgomery could not actually see the group departing the plane, she could definitely smell them. Her spherical snout was sniffing with unbridled intensity as each member marched off the busted mess of metal.
    “You won’t escape!” Sylvie screamed, still firmly lodged in the engine. “My nose will find you! You’re only making my story all the more worthy of a Snoopulitzer!”

    With Mrs. Wellington and Schmidty in the lead, the group stealthily tiptoed to the edge of the clearing and into a dense cluster of trees. Flowering crab apple and thick-trunked maples beguiled the madcap mob as they rushed down a barely discernible path.
    “Do you guys know where you’re going? Because after a plane crash, getting lost in the woods is not high on my wish list,” Lulu groaned to Mrs. Wellington and Schmidty.
    “Of course we know where we’re going. We’ve been here more times than a cat can count,” Mrs. Wellington stated, pushing pink-blossomed branches out of her way.
    “Do you hear that? It sounds like