Free The Deeper We Get by Jessica Gibson

meth. That’s when things really went downhill. To be honest, I don’t really remember much from back then. I remember being angry a lot, and I remember the night your sister died.”
    “You mean when you killed her. She didn’t just die Tom. You beat her to death.” I exploded, all of the rage that was in me spewed out. I punched him repeatedly in the face and sides, but he didn’t fight back. I sat back on my heels when I had poured every bit of anger out.
    He wiped the blood from his nose and mouth on his sleeves. “Feel better?”
    “Not by half, but it’s a start ,” I panted. I still didn't understand him, didn't get why he hated us so much, why she did.
    “Why did mom hate us?”
    “She never hated you. She loved you kids so much. We both did. The drugs and alcohol just made us lose our way.”
    “You never saw how bad it got after.” My voice was low. “She never hit us much, she didn't care enough. She didn’t care enough to buy us new clothes or make dinner. All she cared about was you. Even the last few days I was home, she talked about you, about how much she loved you and how things would be better if you were home.”
    “I’m so sorry, for all of it. I wish so bad I could go back in time and not start using the drugs. I know it was all my fault, everything that happened. Don’t blame your mom for it.” His voice shook.
    “Don’t you dare. I lived with her for ten long years after you went to prison. How could I not blame her? I never knew what love was until I moved in with the Kleins. I never understood that love was supposed to be unconditional. You ruined us, both of you. It should have been you who died that night, not Frannie.” I got up and walked to the door, holding it open so he would leave. “I think we’re done now.”
    “Don’t shut me out Chad, please don’t shut me out.” Tears slipped down his cheeks.
    “I hate you, nothing you’ve said will change that.”
     
     
    Scarlet was waiting by my bike the next morning when I came down for school.
    “Oh good, you’re alive ,” she declared sarcastically, her hands on her hips.
    I knew I had been a jerk, and she had every right to be pissed. I just didn’t have it in me to have a huge argument first thing in the morning.
    “Can we do this later?”
    “No, we really can’t. If you want to be done, just say it. But don’t be a dick and dodge my calls or make excuses for not seeing me.”
    “I don’t want to end things. I know I’m been a huge dick, and you have every right to be mad. I’m just trying to get through this.”
    “You could have said that at any point in the last week. I don’t like being played with, and that’s exactly what you’ve been doing.”
    “Come here.” I held my arms out for her.
    “No, that’s not going to fix this.”
    “Fine.” I walked over and wrapped her in my arms. “I’m sorry. I’m a shitty boyfriend.”
    “I know you have a lot on your plate. I’m just asking for you not to close me out completely. I would have given you some space if you had asked for it.”
    “I know you would have. I was an ass, and I’m sorry. Forgive me?” I kissed her gently.
    “Yes, I forgive you. I missed you so damn much. Don't ever do that again.” She hugged me tight.
    “I missed you too.” I inhaled her scent.
    “Don’t do that again. Promise me?” She looked up, an expectant expression on her face.
    “I promise.” I wanted to believe that I wasn’t lying.
    “Can you play hooky today?”
    “For you, I can.” I kissed her, the feel of her lips against mine was going to drive me mad. “What did you have in mind?”
    “I don’t know, we’ll figure it out on the way. I’m driving.”
    We hopped into her beat up old Ford and started driving.
    “Tell me what’s been going on?” she asked, her gaze on the road in front of her.
    I laid it all out for her. Everything I was thinking, the fight with my dad the night before, all the crap he had said.
    “That’s a lot to be