Free The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups by Harry Fisch, Karen Moline Page B

advisor. There is no easy way to deal with this. You have to ask the question and jump in the pool, even though you know the water is cold. A supportive therapist or counselor will help ask the delicate questions and give you strategies for moving forward.
    Dear Dr. Fisch: Is My Husband Gay?
    Dear Dr. Fisch,
    I’m really worried about my marriage. My husband and I have been married for ten years and we have two small children, but we haven’t had sex in over six months. He used to steal my razors and shave off a lot of his leg hair, but one day he came home with nearly all his body hair—his chest hair and his pubic hair and even his facial hair—lasered off, and it’s a huge turnoff for me. He looks like a baby, all smooth and pink. I can’t believe he did this without discussing it with me first. I’m wondering, could he be gay? The last time I asked him, he left and didn’t come back for three days.
    Signed, Hiding the Razors
    Dear Hiding the Razors,
    I can’t believe your husband got all his body hair removed, just like that! Talk about extreme. It’s almost as extreme as women who get Brazilians because their partners tell them to. (And yes, I think women doing something they may not want to solely for a partner’s pleasure can be extreme.)
    I understand why this makes him less attractive and manly to you. Women are used to men having body hair. And you know what? Oils stick to body hair and give off a musky scent that a lot of women find subliminally alluring. The theory is that your body gives off pheromones, a scent that attracts the opposite sex.That’s one of the reasons why women wear perfume. They don’t just want to smell good for themselves; they want to smell more attractive to men, too.
    Anyway, it’s clear that something else is going on. This is about more than just his hair, or lack thereof. I hate to tell you this, but your husband is being very narcissistic and treating you badly. It’s likely he’s either getting sex from someone else or having so much sex with himself that he’s lost interest in you. But my inclination is that your husband could be having sex with other men, especially given his (for lack of a better word) extreme reaction, storming out the last time you asked him. A man who can answer “No” to that question doesn’t leave.
    At some point, you two need to have a very frank conversation, as hard as that might be. If you find the thought of that conversation untenable, you may want to find a good therapist so a neutral party can help frame the questions and help you both deal with the answers calmly. You and your relationship deserve it.
Dealing with the Consequences
    So what do you do if you answered yes to some or many of the questions in a particular quiz? If you answered a strong yes to at least a few questions on any of them, you probably realize that you or your partner is likely in denial about one of these issues. You may even be feeling relieved because at least you know the truth or can take steps to get to the bottom of it.
    Only you can decide whether you want to stay in yourrelationship and see if you both can work things out. The goal of this book is to help you deal with the sexual issues and get to the truth of what’s going on, good and bad, easy or tough. My advice in these situations is to find someone with compassion and understanding, whether a professional therapist or a trusted friend, to help guide and support you so you can make the best decisions for you and your relationship.
What If You Don’t Want to Have Sex with Him?
    Just as there are reasons why a man doesn’t want to have sex with you, there are plenty of reasons why he might be turning you off. If any of the following hits close to home, it’s time to start talking!
If He’s Size XL But Not Where You Want Him to Be, It’s Time to Lose the Weight
    Obesity is at epidemic levels in this country, and men need to deal with the overeating and under-exercising that cause it if they