Free Caught in Transition by Virginia May

and how she had so beautifully put her feelings and reasons out there for all to read. My only other thought was my family had better be kind and accepting of her or they would have to deal with me.

    The Naples Trip

    We were planning a weekend trip to a bed and breakfast in Naples, New York State and part of me was looking forward to it and the other part wanted to hide out at home. What would it be like with Sheelagh and the other people? Would crossing the border be a problem? Will this trip make her happy or anxious? Society is tolerant of gays as a concept but don ’ t want to see open displays of affection in front of them because then it is too real. Gay in theory is one thing, reality is another. I think I was that way at one time; I still am occasionally taken by surprise if I see two men kissing.  

    The day came for us to leave for Naples New York. The puppies were boarded at the kennel and we headed to the border in our Nissan 350-Z. It was a fun little sports car but again it felt strange to me to be traveling in a sporty convertible with another woman instead of a man. I worried about people being intolerant of two gay women together, scared that they could harass us when we had the top down, or slash the top when it was up. Some people take issues with gays while others couldn ’ t care less. I just had to let it go and believe everything would be okay. Crossing the border at Kingston was extremely easy, and we had a lovely time shopping at Destiny USA before heading down to Naples.
     
    Our room was very pretty with a huge four poster bed and a beautiful large bathroom with a giant Jacuzzi. After we got settled in we went out looking for a place to eat. We ended up in a Chinese restaurant and had a lovely meal. No one looked at us twice and everything was fine. At breakfast the next morning there were three other couples besides us and we all had to eat at one big table. I knew Sheelagh ’ s anxiety level was high but she did really well. No one asked us about our kids – maybe because we were a same sex couple they thought we didn ’ t have any. We did talk about dogs and politics. Everyone there hated Obama, but Sheelagh was good and didn ’ t enter into a debate about the merits of Obama with a bunch of diehard Republicans. I did feel better once breakfast was over.  

    That afternoon we had a wine tasting tour lined up and had a great time. After a few stops I stopped worrying what people thought when we shared our taste testing glasses. The power of a little alcohol! We ended up buying quite a few bottles to take home with us. That evening we sat outside and drank some wine, watched lightning bugs and talked.  

    Our last night there Sheelagh drank a lot of wine and basically went to bed around 10:30 P.M. She awoke around 4:00 A.M. sighing and moving around a lot until she woke me up. I had her put her head on my shoulder and asked if there was anything she wanted to say and she said no, but kept on sighing. This sighing continued and eventually I got her to open up a little. She was sad and disappointed about things from her past (she gave no elaboration) and also said she was upset about not having sex. I knew that was coming – on Friday we arrived late after a long drive and shopping all day and were exhausted. Saturday night Sheelagh kept drinking and couldn ’ t possibly have had sex. On Sunday I gave her a choice of staying inside and having sex or going out and feeding the animals. (They had horses, sheep and a pig where we were staying). And she picked feeding the animals.  

    Sex can be hit or miss when you have someone taking estrogen daily with little or no testosterone in their system – a lot of times it ’ s a miss. I felt her frustration but found it hard to believe she thought she would always be able to maintain an erection without testosterone. I don ’ t know if it was wishful thinking or something she had read, but this was one thing that truly bothered Ms.