Free Cast in Stone by G. M. Ford

streets, without ever looking any worse for wear. His thick
mane of slicked-back white hair always reminded me of a boxing
announcer. Since Buddy's death, he'd become the de facto leader of
this little band.
    "We
rent 'em the space," said Harold Green, his softball-size Adam's
apple bobbing furiously as he spoke. Year by year, Harold was in the
process of disappearing right before our very eyes. His gaunt frame
lost a few more pounds every year. A former shoe salesman, he looked
to be made of old, distressed leather.
    "Seventy
bucks," blurted Ralph. "Each," amended George.
"Seventy bucks," Ralph said again.
    "We
got it, Ralph," sighed George.
    Ralph
Bastista had, years before, been a minor official with the Port of
Seattle. Ralph was, as George liked to point out in moments of
extreme unpleasantness, perhaps the only guy in history to drink
himself out of a civil service job. Twenty years of uninterrupted
debauchery had exacted a terrible toll on Ralph, unlike George. His
round pleasant face and agreeable manner belied a startling lack of
functioning gray matter. Whoever it was said life doesn't take place
in a vacuum hadn't spent much time trying to give Ralph instructions.
Ralph was, however, renowned as the finest flopper in the Pacific
Northwest. Whatever his other failings, Ralph could still spot a
tourist in a rental car a block away and be bouncing off the fender
in the wink of an eye. Many an out-of-town visitor, visions of
exploding insurance premiums numbing his brain, had silently
thanked God that the old guy was miraculously unhurt as they slipped
him fifty bucks and sent him limping on his way. The Lord provides in
mysterious ways.
    Little
or nothing was known of Nearly Normal Norman's background. Different
days produced different stories. My inquiries as to his family's
state of origin had on successive attempts been met with Rhode
Island, Indiana, and Sri Lanka. While his vast store of esoteric
knowledge suggested a formal education, Norman was less than
forthcoming with any usable facts. A pair of the most seriously
unhinged eyes since Rasputin coupled with a heavily muscled
six-foot-six frame precluded insistent inquisitiveness from all but
the most seriously addled.
    "Nice
crowd out in the parlor."
    "They're
all right," commented Harold quickly.
    "They
got no bugs. They don't steal things or cause no trouble. That's all
we ask, Leo. We just give 'em a roof over their heads for a while. No
questions asked.
    If
they wanted a fucking sermon they'd go to the Mission. If they fuck
up, they work it out with Norman," added George with just enough
zing to let me know that he didn't want to hear any jokes about the
boarders.
    "And
pizza," said Ralph.
    "Yeah,
we give 'em pizza too," agreed George.
    "We
give everybody pizza," Ralph said with obvious pride.
    When
I looked confused, they pulled me over to the rear door. The entire
back porch was hip deep in empty Domino's boxes.
    "Summer
Special," said Harold. "It was Ralph's idea. He found the
first handful."
    I
looked to George for confirmation. He shrugged.
    "Believe
it or not," he confirmed.
    "There's
a coupon for a free small pizza in every box they deliver."
    "So
you guys buy one and then—" I started.
    "We
don't buy squat," said George. "The solid citizens, they
don't give a shit; a small pizza ain't worth crap to them. They throw
the coupons out with the box when they're done. We just go out after
dinner and liberate the coupons from the containers."
    Experience
had taught me that liberation meant scrounging, and container meant
dumpster.
    This
talk of food had touched a nerve in Norman, who exited to the porch
and began digging through the collected boxes in search of a snack.
    "How's
it going, Norman?" I asked.
    "There
used to be a hippopotamus on Madagascar the size of a dog," he
said without interrupting his forage.
    George
shrugged. "He's into animals lately." "What does
Domino's think of this loaves-and-fishes program of yours?" I
asked.
    "After
a few