Free The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan, Chris Webb Page A

little
    boy proceeds to throw a ferocious tantrum. He throws himself on the floor,
    screams at the top of his lungs and—don’t you love this part?—a crowd
    has gathered to see how you’re going to handle the crisis.
    What do you do? The first thing you do is make sure you have the
    1-2-3 rolling fairly well at home. “Fairly well” means you are getting a
    good response at 1 or 2 most of the time. Why not all the time? Because
    he’s just a kid.
    Now you’re in aisle 5, your son is tantruming loudly, and the audience
    has assembled. You look down at the unhappy little monster, hold up one
    finger and say, “That’s 1.” You say this as calmly and as firmly as you
    would at home. What is the key here? The key is not so much what you do
    as what you don’t do. You do not, for example, let yourself be intimidated
    by the threat of public embarrassment and whisper, “ Come on now, I
    don’t want you making a fool of me in front of all these people.” You do
    that and the child will know that you can be had for a nickel; he won’t
    need the candy bar because he’s about to have more fun with you.

    Proceed to 2 and then to 3, if necessary. Do not look at anyone else
    other than your child. At this point, of course, parents wonder, “What are
    we going to do at 3? There’s no time-out room.” This problem is easier
    to solve than you think.
    Time-Out Room, Time-Out Place
    Over the many years of developing the 1-2-3 Magic program, parents
    taught me what to do in situations like this. These were parents who, in
    the heat of battle, had to come up with rest-period solutions while in the
    restaurants, in the theaters, in stores, at the museum, at the ball park and
    so on.

    We cal the solution,“Time-Out Room, Time-Out Place.”
    There is always either a room, something like a room, or a symbolic

    WHAT TO DO IN PUBLIC 57
    place where a time out can be served. For example, in the aisle 5
    conflict we just described, at 3 some parents wil just stay right
    where they are and hold the child’s hand for several minutes.
    The adult says nothing during this period. That’s a time out place.
    Other parents have put little children in the grocery cart for the
    consequence. That’s almost a time-out room.

    Other ideas include a corner of the
    store—a time-out place. For more ram- Quik Tip…
    bunctious children, the bathroom of the When you’re out in
    store can serve the same purpose. Let them public, there is always
    either a room, something
    scream their heads off in there for a while. like a room, or a symbolic
    Some parents, feeling their children play location where a time out
    up to an audience, will actually leave the can be served. And don’t
    forget your time-out
    grocery cart right where it is and take the alternatives. Just because
    child back to the car to do the rest period. people are watching does
    That’s a time-out room.
    not mean that you have to
    be at your kids' mercy!

    Using the car like this makes some
    people ask, “Using the car like this makes
    some people ask, “Why should I have to go through all that trou-
    ble?” The answer is because (1) they’re just kids, (2) they’re still
    learning how to behave and (3) “all that trouble” is a sound invest-
    ment in their future and your peace of mind.

    Here’s another idea. If the child is old enough and you
    won’t worry about him, at 3 have him wait for you—perhaps next
    to one of the cash registers or next to the information booth—till
    you’re done shopping.

    During any time out, you do not talk to the child. No lec-
    turing, screaming or nagging. Keeping quiet is often very hard, but
    after a while the youngsters get the idea you mean business. And
    yes, there have been parents who felt the fuss was bad enough that
    they left a half-full grocery cart and went home.
    The “1-2-3-4”
    Don’t forget your Time-Out Alternatives (TOAs) when you have to go
    out of the house with the kids! Here’s another situation. You’re