Free Love and Relativity by Rachael Wade Page A

clean it up real good. You know, live the dream for both of us. Then take it around the world or something. I figured I’d find work anywhere. It would’ve been perfect for me. I’d rather that than be tied down to one place for the rest of my life, anyway.”
    “Sounds like Jen,” I said. The sound of her name was a siren, bringing all of the goose bumps on my arms to direct attention. It was so rare for me to say her name out loud, and I definitely didn’t recall saying it in Jackson’s presence since the accident. “She never wanted to be tied down. She was such a free spirit. She used to make me promise. She’d say, ‘now Emma, swear to me you’ll stick to your plan to move out of state. This island is beautiful, but you’ve lived here your whole life, and there’s a whole world out there. Get the hell out of here if it kills you, do you hear me?’”
    “It’s true.” He ran his thumb pad along the inside of my hand. “Sanibel’s a great place, but it’s like any other small town or small island. You either live, work, and die there, or you get out and spread your wings and never look back. I vote for the latter. It’s more liberating.”
    “I agree,” I said, my voice wistful. “And yet you stay. That surprises me. You seem like a free spirit yourself.”
    “I wouldn’t know where to go now, even if I had the chance to leave. I’m comfortable, I guess. There is a positive to staying put, though.”
    “Which is?”
    “It’s loyal, staying in one place your whole life. A commitment.”
    “That’s one way to look at it, I guess.”
    He inched his body closer to mine so our arms and shoulders were aligned, our bodies flat on the hood. “You can still leave, you know. Just because that Chris moron threw a temporary kink in your plans doesn’t mean you have to give them up entirely.”
    “You’re right. It just never feels like the right time, now. I’m supposed to leave when I finish up my associate degree in the spring, but it’s like...I keep second guessing myself. Nothing’s the same since she died. I keep wondering if I’ll still want to leave when that time rolls around. So much can change so quickly, you know?” I didn’t need him to agree with that last thought. I didn’t need anyone to.
    I knew.
    In the blink of an eye, your whole world can shift, and you’re left trying to readjust the focus. By the time everything is clear again, the next season has already arrived, and the old focus is nothing but a hindrance. Distortion. Only an impression on your soul. It can contribute to your next destination, but it can’t sustain you or slow down your evolution.
    “You’ll know when the time is right. But I’m with Jen. Whatever you do, don’t give it up. Live for the rest of us who can’t.”
    “I won’t give it up. Thanks. You can count on me.”
    Leaning up on his elbows, Jackson exhaled and glanced back up at the sky. “Guess we better hit the road.”
    I sat up to join him, my high heels grinding against the hood as I scooted my legs down to reach the ground. “Hey.” I tugged his hand when he stood to his feet. He shuffled closer to the end of the hood and rested his palm on my thigh, grazing it with his fingertips, sending a shiver down my back. “This Chase guy is an asshole. Whatever he said about your dad being in jail, don’t give it a second thought.”
    “But I do think about what he said. All the time. That’s why I lost it, had to get out of there. Because I hate facing it.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I hate facing that he’s right. He said I’m nothing, just like my dad. It’s true. My dad had it all and fucking lost it. I remember who he was before my mom died. He was a good man. Loyal, hard working... happy . At least he had something to lose in the first place. But me? I’ve been broke from day one, Emma. And it’s only getting harder. It’s a miracle this piece of crap truck made it up here. It should’ve died months ago. I shouldn’t