Free Bring Me Back by Taryn Plendl

choose this.  I don’t know why she is this way, but I do know whatever it is, it was bad—maybe even horrific.  Somehow, she fought past whatever it was, and continues to do so every day.  She didn’t give up like me.
I either need to get to living or get to dying because this just existing thing I’ve been doing since Laney died, just isn’t cutting it anymore.
***
I don’t know how long I have been out here, and just how cold it is, until I feel my coat around my shoulders.  I slip my hands into the sleeves as Ally sits down next to me. We sit there in silence for what seems like hours, when I finally reach out and take her cold hand in mine.  “I’m sorry Ally.”  I feel her lay her head on my shoulder. “I know Ian, me too.  I just can’t…..not yet.”  I squeeze her hand.  “When you’re ready Ally, I’ll be here.”
***
I take Ally into town for her appointment the next day.  The surgeon is very pleased with how she has healed, and gives her permission to slowly start exercising again. 
I am more aware at what a huge step it is to have Ally here, away from our houses, so I don’t push any extra stops on her.  When we are finished at the doctors, I drive us straight home.  On the drive back, the snow begins to fall, and by the time we are pulling into the drive, it looks like a full blown white out.
I have been sleeping at Ally’s house since she came home from the hospital, and now that she is better, I feel almost sad at the thought of returning to my own home.
Nothing inappropriate has ever taken place between Ally and I.  Other than occasionally holding hands, we have always kept it platonic.  She is not the first woman I have ever shared a bed with, but she is definitely the first friend I have shared a bed with.  I keep telling myself that I am sleeping with her to protect her from her nightmares, but I think it might be as much for me as for her.  As crazy as our issues are, being with Ally has always felt so easy. 
***
“Let’s get you inside.”  I say as we park in front of her house.  I walk around and open Ally’s door, and help her out.  I start to walk up the stairs, but before I make it to the top, I feel a cold smack in the back of my head and snow trickle down the neck of my shirt.  Stunned, I slowly turn around and find Ally standing by the car with her eyebrow raised and a very poor attempt at an innocent look.  Smiling, I cock my head to the side, “Really?  Really Ally?  Do you really want to play this game?”  I say as I leisurely walk back down the steps toward her.  She is calmly backing away from me, as to further the gap between us, then I lunge and she screams.
Turning, Ally begins to run, laughing hysterically, toward a large tree about twenty feet away.  I grab a handful of snow, forming a solid ball as I chase her.  Launching it in her direction, it smacks against the tree as she springs behind it just in time. 
Before I can take cover, she hits me square in the chest with another frozen ball.  I decide a full on pursuit is in order and begin to charge, and as she peeks around the tree again, she screams when she realizes how close I am.  She runs around the other side of the tree and attempts to pass by me, but I reach out, grabbing her coat, and swing her back around.  Her momentum puts me off balance and we stumble backwards until I fall flat on my back, dragging Ally right on top of me.
“Oooh.”  I hear her gasp as she lands, prone, on top of me.  Looking up, I see her wet, snow covered hair cascade around her face and mine.  I can feel her heart beating wildly through both of our shirts, and I see something in her eyes, longing, making me want to pull her down and kiss her cold wet lips.  I shift under her and grab her waist underneath her coat, trying to ease her closer, but as I grip her sides, she winces.  “Oh shit Ally, did I hurt you?”  I say as I set us both upright.  She doesn’t say anything.  Realizing what