Free Getting Old is the Best Revenge by Rita Lakin Page A

Such an angel, he was. Up from nothing, he makes a fortune in sheet metal. When he dies he leaves her very rich. Not that she ever shares a penny with her relatives."
    Evvie is about to say something. I tug at her sleeve to stop her.
    "Then what does she do? Does she sit around and get old and die with the rest of the widows? No. Rich old women get very stupid. She marries a dancer. Robs the cradle. Who can make money dancing? Not that he bothers to work after he marries her. She marries beneath her. A disgrace to la famiglia. I hate to be catty about my own cousin, but she was no beauty. All the spas in the world didn't turn her into pretty." She shrugs. " Faccia brutt'. Some tough life she had. Bridge games, cocktail parties, cruises . . . Did she ever invite me? Hah!"
    "Angelina, where did you go to?" someone shouts.
    We turn to see Elio, standing on a knoll, squinting down at us. Evvie and I turn our heads away quickly.
    Angelina waves impatiently. "The man never gives me a minute's peace."
    "Better go, Mrs. Siciliano. We don't want him to see us."
    "Right. Right." She smiles conspiratorially. "Talk to you after the next stakeout."
    We watch her trudge back to him. I wait until they are out of sight, then I hug Evvie. "You were brilliant! 'Down the wrong aisle! Uncle Charlie! Where's the trash can?' "
    She smiles modestly. "It was nothing."
    "You deserve a raise."
    "Hah! I'll settle for a salary." Evvie breaks out laughing. "I really think we owe Uncle Sum Wang Ho a better bouquet than this one."

    16

    Sophie Gets Lucky

    I t's Sophie's turn to host our weekly canasta game. It's pouring outside and the afternoon sky is black, a typical Florida rainstorm with crashing thunder and flashes of lightning. But not to worry, we are cozy inside. Sophie has dozens of lamps, all brightly lit. Then again, our hostess always has too many of everything. Too many pillows on the couch. Too many doilies, too many little tchotchkes, like her salt and pepper shaker collection and her miniature doggies collection. Our hostess, as usual, outdoes herself with the food, as well. Not only is there a sponge cake, but rugallah-- not just chocolate, but raspberry and prune, too. And with coffee later, there will be pie, three different kinds--cherry, apple, and pineapple cheese. Everybody complains, it's too much! But that doesn't stop us from wolfing it all down.
    The game is going as well as can be expected, and it's war. Two killer players, Evvie and Ida, determined to win at any cost. One indifferent player, me. One in there pitching, but seldom a winner, Sophie. And poor Bella. She hates to play. She has never understood this game and never will. She'd rather watch, even do dishes or scrub the toilet, anything but take the other players' abuse.
    It's my turn to sit it out and I end up as referee.
    "Gimme a deuce," Ida prays as she picks from the deck with her eyes closed. "Yesss," she hisses happily at Evvie. Evvie answers back with a high five.
    " Oy, I've got bubkes, " Sophie moans through a mouthful of raisins.
    "I just picked up a joker," Bella says cheerfully to her partner, Sophie.
    "Shah!" says Sophie. "Keep it to yourself."
    "Big deal," Ida comments. "She wouldn't know what to do with it anyway." She clenches her fists. "Why do we put up with her?"
    "For the same reason we put up with you," Sophie says with venom.
    I try to calm things down by talking a little business. "That was really good work you girls did yesterday, finding two other women who saw Peeping Toms."
    Sophie says, "And we only got through Phases Four and Six. There could be more."
    Evvie slaps down a card and says, "You know who really surprised me? Eileen O'Donnell in Four. She's always the big complainer, but not a peep out of her about her peeper."
    I suggest we start a chart, but no one is listening to me because Evvie cries out, "Everybody shut up. I'm going down." With that she flamboyantly starts unloading her hand.
    "Way to go, partner," Ida congratulates