Free Dreams of the Forgotten by Lexi Ander

me another slow languid kiss.
Since I had become pregnant, the urge to claim Ushna for my own had intensified. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was mine, handsome strong Ushna, my best friend, my right hand, the love of my life. I never wanted to be without him. Even though I knew he wasn't my Twin Flame, I had to walk carefully because the predator deep within me wanted to claim him and bind us together for an eternity of incarnations.
But I couldn't—I wouldn't allow that to happen.
I'd never steal him away from Brian, his soul's Bashert, and because of that, I'd probably spend the rest of my incarnations alone and unclaimed.
Ushna and I had a strong connection before he became my lover. In a fantastic way, the love we had for each other had us entwined together, nearly balanced but not quite. Then he had become my consort and the magic tied us together more tightly. It tethered him to me so I could find him if he wasn't too far away. There were times when I touched him and I swore I perceived his emotions as if they were my own.
All of this only spurred on this part of me that wanted, needed, to be bonded completely with his soul. I felt unsure and incomplete. My predator pushed forward when we had sex, making its desires known to me. It was a constant battle to hold onto and control that part of myself.
Once, not so long ago, I had come close to claiming Ushna. I submitted control over to him and I ended up having the best sex of my life but it was also a reminder of the thin edge I walked with him. I wouldn't let him down. I'd retain control of myself. I prayed the Gods would have mercy on me when my time came. I didn't want to walk the world alone.
Along with the strong urge to bind Ushna to me, I'd had these strange moments of déjà vu. I'd never said anything to him but I wondered, with each reincarnation, where do our life experiences go? Does our memory reset with each birth? Did they stay with the soul but we were denied access to them?
Since then there were moments when I stared at him and I saw other faces overlay his. I believed—crazy as it might be—I'd known all of them. If I had, were the faces I saw images of who Ushna once was? Did it mean he'd been my friend, my lover, or in some way a part of my life in times past? What about Brian? He couldn't have been gone for all of the incarnations. Had we always been friends? Had I been Brian's lover, possibly a lover to both of them?
The worst part was I couldn't tell Ushna what I thought I saw. Where would I begin? Could it be explained rationally and be believable?
I wished this small craziness was merely a side effect of male pregnancy. These visions were coupled with haunting dreams, added to the push from my predator to claim Ushna, and it seemed like I might be going crazy. I endeavored to hold myself together, focus on the things we needed to do, but sometimes it didn't seem to be enough.
Would a side effect of the broken binding spell and the urge to claim Ushna eventually go away? If it didn't, I might be forced to reveal all of this to Ushna. It seemed the further along I was in the pregnancy, the more I fought myself. My instinct and my logical mind clashed as I held onto control.
He pulled me into his arms and I absorbed his strength. I would be utterly lost without this man.
C
HAPTER
S
IX
     
35 days until birth of the heirs to the Seat of Zeev, the Wolf Throne.
    I woke surrounded by warmth. Soft sleeping inhalations coincided with the play of hot breath on the back of my neck, firm male hips snug against me, a semi hard shaft nestled in the valley of my butt cheeks. In the front, a moist tongue lapped at my collarbone, tasting and nibbling, while a large hand stroked my hip.
    For some reason I was so incredibly sad. My chest constricted with pain, throat sore and raw, my cheeks wet with tears. I knew there was comfort for me if I only reached out and accepted it. I was abandoned and betrayed and I didn't want to remember why. I wanted to lie