Free Every Heart by LK Collins Page B

eyes.
    So bright and clear, messy hair and rough face, even skinny, he can take my breath away. He really is beautiful and will make someone happy, unfortunately I love Bain so much and because of that, it won’t be me. I hold back the tears, knowing what I have to do, and put on a fake smile for him. You can do this, A.
    “Hi,” he says, with a smile and sparkling eyes.
    “Hi,” I say, barely choking out the word. I welcome him in and then hug him, wondering if one more embrace will help anything at all. Maybe it will change my feelings? But as he gently holds me back, I know we can both tell it’s not the same as it used to be.
    I guess it’s because we’re both so different now. He smells like Nate, a scent I dreamed about for a long time, but even smelling that scent again doesn’t compare to the ravishing yearning I have inside of me for Bain. He does something different to me. I wish I would have seen that sooner and wouldn’t have run away like I did.
    “Come in,” I tell him stepping out of the way. I feel bad seeing the back of him and how you can tell that part of his leg is missing. As I close the door and turn to him, I lead us to the couch. “Let’s sit,” I tell him.
    “How are you?” he asks, following me.
    We both sit down and look at one another; it is so strange to be staring at him again. A million different emotions flow through me and I can’t help but cry. I’m not sure if I can let him go. After all of the nights I cried myself to sleep praying for a miracle, and here he is. Wiping the tears away with the backs of my hands, I look at him. He has his hands in his lap and is just watching me, I can see there is a glimmer of hope that exudes from within him and he finally says, “Come here.” Opening his arms to me, I scoot over, not able to fight his request and let myself indulge in Nate one last time. Yeah, it might seem selfish, but it’s what I feel I need to do. The second he embraces me, I cling to him, holding him tightly back. He soothes me by rubbing my back.
    “I don’t even know what to say,” I tell him, afraid to start the conversation and let him down.
    “You don’t need to say anything, A. That’s the beauty of our relationship. I am perfectly content just having you in my arms.” His assumption that we still have a relationship catches me off guard. Maybe it’s because I called him over here, but whatever it is, I am not sure I like it. He knows that I am with Bain.
    I slightly pull away, feeling guilty for being so close to him. “Are you okay?” he asks. “You seem different than the other day.”
    “I’m fine, Nate, I really am. I’m worried about Bain, that’s all.”
    “Did something happen?”
    “Not really, he just didn’t sound like himself when we talked this morning.”
    “I’m sure he’s not. He’s gotta feel a lot like I do.”
    “Which is?”
    “Lost. Alone. Sad.”
    I look away from him, hating knowing that my actions are responsible for doing this to not one, but two people. “Don’t beat yourself up, A. It’s not your fault that you’re so amazing and we both love you.”
    “I’m not beating myself up,” I snap, angry that he can read me so well.
    “I know you, Arion. I know you almost better than anyone. You can’t lie to me.”
    In my mind, Bain consumes me. He is all that I’m thinking about and it is clouding my thoughts, making me know what I have to do.
    “I’m sorry, Nate.”
    “Sorry for what? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
    “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you and that I haven’t been.”
    “It’s fine, A, things happen. It was crazy of me to think someone as amazing as you would have stuck around and waited for me.”
    “I did, Nate. I waited for months and months. Bain and I were just friends and then it turned into more. I didn’t plan on this happening.”
    “I know you didn’t. It’s just a lot to deal with. Coming home and not having your partner and then finding out she’s