Free Landslide by Jenn Cooksey Page B

hand barely resting in the triangle of dampened curls at the apex of my thighs, I move against it and against him, simply willing him with my fevered body to, of his own free will, slake the tempest that I’ve built inside of me, like I’m giving him a choice. I only look at his face once to see his eyes squeezed tightly shut before I go back to kissing what I can reach of his chest with my lips, using my tongue to lick at the few beads of perspiration my mouth comes across while exploring his neck, and reaching underneath a waistband of elastic to wrap my hand around the velvet smooth skin of his length, stroking his erection until he’s shaking and hard as granite.
    “ Please , Erica…don’t make me do this.” In the dim light being cast through the window by the streetlamp, I look into his eyes and can see the plea in them that matches his words.  
    I know I should relent; that what I’m putting him through isn’t fair, but I am so consumed, so completely overtaken by a desire that I’ve somehow allowed to become wholly twisted and then cemented it atop a foundation of what feels like insatiable, gnawing emptiness. So when I feel his fingers minutely twitch, just barely curling into the wetness between my thighs, I cling to him, crying, and whimper, “Please. Do this for me. Please .”
    He closes his eyes once more and hangs his head for what is in reality, a fleeting moment. For me though, it might as well be an eternity. But, sighing and removing my hand from him, he shifts to situate his body over mine again and rolls me so that I’m flat on my back underneath him. Even in my state of heartbreak brought on by Holden’s death and all the loss that goes with it, my heart swells, knowing it will finally be getting what it thinks it needs.
    That is, until he doesn’t settle on top of me like I expect him to.
    I push myself up on my elbows, intending to protest or beg again, when he moves further down my body. Taking hold of the back of one of my knees, though, he bends and positions my leg over his shoulder. With the other hand, he gently pushes against the flat of my stomach, more or less forcing me to lay back once again. My mind is racing, not knowing how I feel because this isn’t what I want from him. Though once his lips find purchase on the inside of my thigh, my mind slows. However, when his mouth moves so that I can feel his hot breath on the sensitive nub under the hood of my vagina before he lightly nips it with his teeth, my mind goes all but blank. My focus is solely centered on him…on how he’s using his lips and tongue, and whole mouth to bring me alive in a way I never have been before. His fingers parting my swollen, throbbing lips and slowly penetrating me intensifies the sensation of rebirth he’s bringing to me. But with that new life, an ache of proportions previously unimaginable to me is being born as well.
    Spearing my fingers into his hair, my body bucks and fights against it, desperately trying to tamp down the inferno building within me; and why it thinks it can win the fight, I will never know. I claw and pull at him until he resurfaces, burying his face in my neck but leaving his fingers to continue intensely working within me, insistent on pushing me further and faster towards something I am not yet prepared for.
    “I want you inside me…all of you,” I beg without breath, “I need to feel you. I need you to take everything…all of me.”
    “Shhh…I think you’re almost there.” His words come in a whisper while his tongue lightly plots the course for his lips as they cruise behind my ear, and down a path along the underside of my neck, his teeth nibbling here and there before they all traverse their way back to my earlobe. “Just be happy with this.”
    He’s right. I am almost there, and when ecstasy finally takes me away, I close my eyes against him, the world, and all thought bar one.
    “I love you, Hol—” I gasp, his mouth crashing down on mine before