Free Between Black and Sunshine by Haven Francis

this time it means more for some reason. Is there a real answer in there somewhere… fate, destiny, the inevitable …. I file it in the back of my brain. I’ll think about that later, we’ll have that conversation later. Not now, while he’s willing to be here with me half-naked. “Take your pants off. Come lay with me,” I tell him.
    He stands and un-belts his work pants before stepping out of them, standing before me in his boxer briefs. Good god, he’s too perfect.  He crawls in next to me and holds me close to him. My hard nipples press into him. His hard length presses into me. But our fingers are soft. Our kisses are soft.
    “It feels like I was never away from you,” he whispers between kisses.
    “This is worth it. Right now is worth the two years I had to live without you,” I say, holding back the barrage of words I want to say to him. By some miracle, he’s giving at least part of himself to me right now and I don’t want to scare him away.
    “It’s surreal having you here in my bed. It feels so perfect. I don’t know how I’m going to stay away.”
    I can hear the stress in his voice and I want to tell him he doesn’t have to stay away. That I will live right here in this bed if he wants me to. But I know his mind would shift immediately into defensive mode and he would be forced to remind himself why he has to stay away. “You’ll figure it out,” I tell him. “But not now. Right now just stay here with me.”
     

Chapter Ten - Luca
     
    I woke to Jude wrapped up in my arms, exactly how I fell asleep; with her sleeping soundly in my arms. It’s been so long since we’ve been this way. And this time it seems so different. There is no worry here in my bed. No possible danger. Not right at this moment.
    I’m tempted to pull her closer to me, turn her enough so that I can get a better look at her back, but all that’s gonna do is make me angry and I don’t want to feel angry right now.
    The girl is so damn tough. She probably doesn’t even know how chewed up and swollen and bruised her back is. I had expected a couple marks where he maybe grabbed her too hard or shoved her into a wall. That would have been hard to see, but this… this was unimaginable. She acted like it was no big deal. I drug her around that damn store for an hour. Walking alone had to hurt. Moving her arms, her legs, rotating her hips… it all had to hurt like hell, but she smiled through all of it. And not that fake smile either but the real thing. She helped me carry the bags to the car. She walked up thirty five stairs to get to my apartment. She let me cling to her back as I pulled her to me. She sat against the seat in my truck and on my couch. Never fucking complained.
    When I saw it I lost myself. Went to that place of red that I can’t get out of, but she managed to pull me back. She connected her body to mine and talked to me until I returned to her. It could have been bad. I could have hurt her.
    I can’t start believing that she can save me from myself. She can’t.
    But if I could just keep her here, in this bed, safe with me, forever... there would never be a reason to be angry or upset. I wish like hell that was an option.
    She shifts under me and I stare at her beautiful face, already used to the new way she looks. She’s my Jude no matter what. Her eyes flutter open and as they meet mine she smiles.
    “Good morning,” I whisper, pushing a strand of hair away from her eye.
    “That’s an understatement,” she says, lazily.
    “No shit.”
    She fits her head into the crook of my neck and kisses me softly before taking my skin into her mouth and biting down. “Don’t hurt me, sweet girl,” I tell her, but the words come out exactly how I feel. Fucking turned on. Like a damn moan. God, what I wouldn’t do to have her exactly the way I want her. To devour her, every damn inch of her. Just to feel her flesh between my teeth, like she’s feeling mine, would be ecstasy. But I play soft with