Free Something Girl by Beth Goobie Page A

think about my head. When I got to the top of the stairs, I stopped and listened. I couldn’t hear my dad snoring, so he had to be awake. Just thinking about this made my head hurt more, so I bitdown harder on my hand and started down the hall.
    Quiet, I was being quiet. I was tiptoeing. But when I got to my dad’s door, he was standing in it and watching me.
    “I’m sorry,” I whispered, not looking at him. Please, please , I thought. Don’t hurt me. Just let me go to bed, please .
    He didn’t say anything, just watched me go past him and down the hall. When he got like this — quiet and staring — it was the worst. Anything could happen — anything.
    But tonight he just watched me. Quiet as anything, I walked past him and into my room. I didn’t close my door because that would make him mad. I got straight into bed without undressing. Then I lay there in the dark, trying to listen past the pounding of my heart.
    I couldn’t hear anything. This meant he could still be standing in his doorway, listening. Or he could have gone back to bed. Or he could be right outside my door, waiting tosee if I made any noise. Whatever I did now, I couldn’t make any noise. It was important to be absolutely quiet. I couldn’t roll over. I couldn’t breathe heavily. I had to be quiet, quiet , QUIET.
    I had to pee like crazy. I’d drunk two pops at the dance, which was stupid. Stupid, no good, nothing girl . I should have known better than to drink anything. Now I was going to have to hold it all night.
    Was he out there listening?
    Quiet, I had to be quiet .

Chapter Two
    When I woke the next morning, my dad was gone for the day. I could tell by the way the house felt, as if there was more space in it. Even on Saturdays my dad went to his office, where he sold real estate. Like he said, he had to bring in the money to take care of my mom and me.
    I was glad he was gone, so I could get up slowly. My head still hurt and my body feltheavy and slow, as if I was getting old. I went downstairs, step by step, really carefully. I tried not to think about what had happened last night. That was over and done with, and today was another day. Like my dad said, it was important to start each morning completely fresh.
    My mom was sitting in the kitchen when I came in. She didn’t look at me, just stared out the window. It was a nice day outside, but she stared out windows a lot. Too much. It was kind of hard to take sometimes.
    “Your dad told me to tell you to mow the lawn,” she said. “He wants it done before he gets home tonight, and no excuses.”
    I nodded. I had mowed the lawn last weekend and the grass had hardly grown. But my dad liked things to look good. A real estate agent’s house had to look the best on the block.
    After that my mom just stared out the window. I didn’t tell her anything about my date with Larry and she didn’t ask. I used totell her things and she would ask questions. But now she just stared out the window, so it was like talking to no one.
    I ate some cornflakes, then went outside and mowed the lawn. This made my head hurt worse, so I took some aspirin. Then I biked to the river to visit an old fort that my friend Jujube and I had built. It was made of old boards and a large piece of metal, nothing much. But some trees hid it, and no one knew about it but Jujube and me. This made it a good place to go when things got bad at home.
    When I got to the river, I wheeled my bike into the trees and locked it. Then I lifted the blanket we’d hung over the fort’s doorway and crawled inside. There were more blankets on the floor, and some old sofa pillows. It was a bit hot and smelled like old sofas. But when I lay down, I got really sleepy. It was different here from everywhere else, just lying in the fort with the river making pretty sounds close by. I didn’t have to worry about mydad telling me to keep quiet. I didn’t have to worry about not having my schoolwork done, or other kids laughing at me. I