Free Mail Order Motherhood (Brides of Beckham Book 8) by Kirsten Osbourne

was nervous at the idea of sharing a bed with a man she’d known for such a short period, but she’d put herself in this situation, and she truly didn’t want out of it.
    Albert thought of her during the day while he worked.  He found himself daydreaming about what it would be like to lay Clara bare on his bed, and press between her spread thighs.  He wanted her.  There was no doubt about that, and if he didn’t give her his heart, there was nothing wrong with having relations with her, was there?
    On the day they’d given themselves as a deadline, he’d sent Clarence on to the house after milking with the promise that he’d be in shortly.  He’d gone to kneel at Sally’s grave, right there on the other side of the road from the barn.  He explained everything to her.  “I know it must seem to you as if I’m cheating on you, but I’m not.  I still love you.  I never would have remarried so soon if I hadn’t needed a wife so badly.  It was for the sake of the children.  Now, I find that the wife isn’t happy to stay upstairs, but after two months, who can blame her?  Please don’t hate me, Sally.  I don’t love her.  I could never love another woman the way I loved you.  I’ll just do my duty toward her, and that will have to be enough.”
    He stood and walked toward the house, wishing he could send the children to bed right away so he could take his wife to his bed.  He wanted her.  Badly.  He could admit that to himself.  He was ready to have a woman in his bed again.  It had been over a year since he’d had relations.  It was time.  He was a man after all, and he had a right to make love to the new wife he’d taken.
    Clara was more aware of her new husband that evening than ever before.  Their kisses and discussions after the children had gone to bed for the past week had her waiting nervously to see how he would react to her.  When he came into the house, he stopped at the stove where she was cooking to brush a soft kiss across her cheek.  Her eyes met his in surprise, because he’d never done that in front of the children before.  Did that mean he was ready to make their marriage a real one?
    Clara took her seat at the table and listened to Albert’s deep voice pray.  She barely picked at her food, so nervous she was shaking.  She had no idea what the evening would bring, but she was glad she would finally have an answer to some of her questions.  She needed that answer.
    The girls played with Robert after the dishes were done, slowly rolling a ball back and forth between them.  Clarence sat at the table with her and Albert doing his arithmetic and asking questions whenever he had one.
    Clara worked steadily on the new shirt she was making for Robert, taking her time with each tiny buttonhole.  The painstakingly slow work made her concentrate on something other than what would be happening once the children were in bed.
    Finally it was nine, and time for the children to sleep.  She went up the stairs with them to see them to their beds as she always did.  She’d left a nightgown hidden downstairs earlier in the day, just in case.  She didn’t know if she’d need it, but if she did, she wanted to be prepared.  While Robert had napped earlier, she’d taken a bath in the big tin tub in Albert’s bedroom as well.  She wanted to be clean for him. 
    Robert wanted an extra story that evening, so she let all the children pile onto the bed he shared with Clarence, and she told one of her favorite bedtime tales from her childhood.  Even though Natalie and Clarence had heard the story over and over, they enjoyed their time lounging on the bed, listening to the stories she told. 
    Finally, she got all four children into bed and crept silently down the stairs, looking at Albert as he sat at the table, whittling as usual.  She took a deep breath as she walked toward him, waiting for his decision.  She stopped just a foot in front of him, and he set his wood and knife down,