Free Maldeamores (Lovesick) (Heightsbound #0.5) by Mara White Page A

and ducking his head away from me. I press my groin into his and suddenly nothing is funny.
    “Fuck,” Lucky moans and sticks his tongue deep into my mouth. I suck on his tongue and his lips, wanting to pull any part of him into me.
    “Kissing cousins,” Raymond says as he walks lazily past us into the men’s room.
    “Oh my God,” I say, stepping away from Lucky and wiping my mouth.
    “Shit,” Lucky says, lowering his arms to his sides. He steps back and then rails against the wall, punching it hard.
    “He’ll say something as soon as they come out,” I say, my mind gone frantic with panic. I’m about to get caught for doing something shameful for the first time in my life. Way to destroy the illusion I’ve worked so hard to build up. All the bullshit I spouted at the restaurant when really, I’m the fuck-up.
    “Naw, Bey, don’t sweat it. Raymond’s practically retarded. I’ll go give him a joint to shut him up.”
    “Are you sure?” I ask, my hands shaking with nerves. When I kiss Lucky I get so worked up that even my fear of getting caught jumps ship and disappears overboard.
    “I’ll never let anything bad happen to you. I promise.”
    When he says it, it’s kind of dismissive, casual, like he’s not saying the most monumental thing I’ve ever been told. To a girl with no father and a hard-working, somewhat absent, single mother, to have someone say they’ll always protect you is mind-alteringly huge. A man who cares about me and promises to care for me is like a kiss from the pope. It’s like winning the lottery, or getting to walk on the moon.
    But when Lucky turns and storms into the bathroom after Raymond, I feel like it’s over. The credits are rolling. The passionate love story with the beautiful French couple doesn’t end so happily after all.

Chapter 10
    Lucky
     
    B elén. She should be like my little sister. At some point she was and I can almost remember feeling nothing but brotherly love for her. Just wanting to play with her. To protect her.
    We’ve always been tight. Me and Belén watching cartoons. Me and Belén stealing tostones off the plate and eating them on the rug in my room. Playing dress-up, taking baths together. I’d play with dolls for her and she’d play with my cars. We wore matching Halloween costumes, opened presents together on Christmas morning. In every old, faded picture she’s there—always hanging on to me.
    I don’t know why things changed or exactly when it happened. Maybe I’m a creep and it was just when the T and A came into play that I really started fiending for her. Come into play did they ever. Belén at eight and at ten was such a skinny little thing that I was terrified the dogs in the neighborhood would get her. I used to give her some of my Halloween candy in hopes of making her stronger. I didn’t know it was bad for your teeth. I felt terrible and cried when she got cavities and my ma said it was my fault.
    Belén at thirteen was a whole ‘nother creature. She turned into a woman out of nowhere and I couldn’t stop staring at her, having sex dreams about her, wanting to touch her. I think when she turned thirteen was when I first cornered her and kissed her.
    Hitting on girls was always something I was good at. My ma says I get it from my pops. I could make them go crazy with my shirt off or when I whispered in their ear. I guess it’s because it was always just my Ma and me that made me understand women. Belén seemed to like those things too, and then all the sudden the vibe changed, but I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it.
    I used to feel like I could communicate with her better than anyone else. Sometimes we’d just look at each other and we could tell what the other person was thinking.
    After we first kissed, I knew I would take it all the way with her if I wasn’t careful. Belén had a way of opening me up that was addictive. I wanted to fuck her. Jesus Christ, did I want to fuck her! I wanted things from her that I never